Beliefs that helped us survive will not help us thrive. They will keep us stuck. Any set of beliefs that hold us back and limit our growth, helped us adapt and survive in particular set of circumstances, usually unhealthy, traumatic, and disfunctional environments. But those beliefs are not who we are. They are not truths about us. The truth about who we are is underneath those beliefs, waiting to be discovered and set free. It is for our highest good to let go and shift any beliefs about ourselves that don’t serve our current life. It is for our highest good to decide on purpose what we want to believe about ourselves moving forward. Questions to reflect on:
You will never get what you want by focusing on what you don’t want. Replace actions that perpetuate shame, worry, and self-judgment with actions that invite change, possibilities, and personal power! Intentionally Replace:
With:
Don’t borrow time from the present moment to create suffering for yourself.
We dwell in the past, regret our ‘bad’ choices, replay painful events, or escape into the future. Each time we think about past we are taking the time from the present moment and we are forcing ourselves re-live it and feel the pain of it. A big part of healing is being able to live more fully in the moment, rather than from the memories of the past. Reflection questions:
In moments of clarity, presence, and empowerment, we remember that we want more for ourselves. We don’t force this, it arises naturally. In those moments, we feel connected to a deep self-determination and desire to move forward. We become free from the limitations of our past, even if just for a moment. In those moments, we feel free from shame and self-criticism. We stop defining ourselves by our limitations and instead allow ourselves to see a possibility of all we could be, do, and experience. We are in our true self. When we’re in this place, we support ourselves to dream big, create, be inspired, curious, compassionate, energized, and connected. We may decide that the way we currently live our life doesn’t fit us anymore. Maybe we set big goals and make promises to ourselves. Also naturally, we disconnect from those moments, and go back to our usual ways of living that feel familiar and comfortable, yet constricting. Our conditioned self returns. Maybe it doesn’t yet feel safe to be in the moments of presence and connection for too long. In these moments our conditioned self may tell us that those desires we felt so connected to in one moment, aren’t possible, or that they don’t happen to people like us, or that we are broken, or that we will fail because we failed in the past. Our conditioned self is fearful of change and growth. It wants to bring us back to the state of fear and complacency. That voice may sound like a voice of reason and it may be too loud to ignore. That voice will fight for our limitations and will want us to rebel against the promises we made to ourselves when we felt empowered. In these moments, we have to remind that voice: I’m doing this for me. I’m choosing what supports me. My true desires are coming from self-love. It is safe and healthy to want more. Don’t talk yourself out of something you know is good for you. Don’t talk yourself out of things you decided when you felt empowered and inspired. Don't talk yourself out of desires that lights you up and makes you feel alive. Don't talk yourself out of your truth. Don't talk yourself out of anything that feels aligned with your true self. You will be tempted to. When it becomes difficult, or boring, or challenging, you might notice the urge to negotiate, to give up, or give in... You might want to convince yourself out of your long-term vision, because of temporary struggles. If you find yourself coming up with excuses, convincing yourself out of commitments you made to yourself, remember that your excuses will only hurt you. No matter how convincing those excuses may sound in the moment, no matter how rational they may sound, if you consistently give in, those excuses will negatively impact your life and will affect your outcomes. In that moment, remember your long-term goals, remember that struggles are temporary, and time will pass anyway. |
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April 2024
AuthorSladja Redner |