When it comes to tips on confidence, you've probably heard of the good old advice to "fake till you make it." 

This requires you to will yourself into it and pretend that you feel something you don't really feel. I'm not saying this is a bad advice as it may work for some people.

But what if all this focusing on wanting to be more confident keeps you in the constant search of it? That search perpetuates the belief that you don't have it, because we only search for what we lack.

I believe there is something more powerful and important than confidence, and that is desire. 

The key to being more confident is to stop focusing so hard on confidence (or lack thereof) and focus on something within you that already exists, and that is, desire. The strength of your desire will always trump the lack of confidence. 
 
Think about the times in your life you did something bold, scary, or uncertain. Did you always feel confident? Probably not! But you still did it. Why? Because your desire was so much stronger than your fear or insecurity  that it didn’t matter if you did it scared.
 
If you are in a place where you’re waiting around to feel more confident or you feel like you're holding yourself back because you think you need to be more confident fist, I invite to stop focusing on confidence and instead start focusing on your desire. 
 
Really think about what is it that you want and why you want it?
 
Let that lead you. Really let yourself connect to the feeling of bringing that desire into reality. 

Want to read more posts about desire? Check out this post!

True answers come to us from peace and clarity, not anxiety.
 
Most of us spend way more time feeding our anxieties and negative predictions than we spend nurturing our possibilities.
 
Anxious mind is trying to analyze, overthink, predict, and solve all sorts of imagined problems and by doing so, it creates more of them. It creates inflexibility and limits our choices.
 
When we’re in the state of anxiety, we’re not able to resolve or make sense of anything, because we’re not able to see the situation clearly. We’re s feeding the negative predictions and we’re trying to protect ourselves from them.
 
True answers don’t come from anxiety, but from inner peace and clarity. Clarity, unlike anxiety, show us choices, flexibility, and possibilities. It leads us to the most loving answer even if that answer is uncomfortable.

Just because things could be worse, doesn’t mean you need to wait for a crisis to change what’s no longer working.
 
Over time, parts we don’t like about our life and habits that are draining our energy become tolerable.
 
Instead of using our time to change what we don’t like, we use the time to learn how to tolerate, cope with, and manage them.
 
We comfort ourselves by saying “it’s not that bad” and “it could be worse.” And yes, things could always be worse, but why wait for a crisis to change something that’s not working now?
 
When we’re in a crisis mode, we don’t have the energy and emotional stamina to approach problems in a productive way.
 
So don’t wait until you have no choice but to change. Honor the part of you that wants more out of life now. 
 
Working with a professional can be crucial because we can’t fully see ways in which we keep ourselves stuck and we can’t identify our own painful stories because we’re too attached to them.
 
I would love to help! Check out my psychotherapy and coaching pages, or book a session and experience the power of coaching!