Why can’t you be the first one?
Just because no one around you took risks and opportunities, or decided to go against the grain, doesn’t mean your path can’t be different. If you grew up without seeing examples of the life and accomplishments you’re dreaming of, be the first one to do it!
If you know you could do more with your life, instead of being paralyzed by not knowing what or how, just take any step. Just make one decision that feels right and see where it takes you. If that turns out not to be your path, you will know!
Instead of living with regret and asking yourself “what if...”
You can pressure and push yourself towards something or you can be pulled towards it.
Judging, pressuring, and shaming yourself is one way to change, grow, and accomplish. It’s the way we use when we’re not connected to our deeper truth and authentic “why.”
We do that when our desires are driven by lack, scarcity, and neediness instead of our true desires for growth and expansion.
It’s a way that will leave you feeling exhausted, tired, burned out, and resentful.
It will leave you feeling unsatisfied and empty. Nothing you accomplish will be good enough.
When you are connected to your meaning and purpose, you are pulled towards it. You still work for it, but the work is exciting and enjoyable.
If either one can give you the same end result, how would you want to get there? Who do you want to be when you accomplish it?
You don’t need to give up on your dreams because it’s hard, you just need to find a way that’s on your terms - through acceptance, self-compassion, and empowerment.
As we move through life, it is natural to change and evolve. We will feel that change needs to take place when the way we navigated life isn’t working in our favor anymore. Changes can be abrupt and unexpected or subtle and predictable.
Our natural reaction may be to resist these changes and fight to preserve the consistency of who we know ourselves to be, as long as we can. This is who we are as humans. We like predictability because it gives us a sense of control. But resistance can cause more suffering, grief, frustration, anxiety, and panic, than the change itself. Simply tweaking a few things can work miracles, and before we know it, we feel skilled navigating this new season that wanted to unfold.
At other times, we are required to undergo a major shift in life: learn new skills, challenge old beliefs, and embrace new behaviors. How do you know if a change is knocking on your door?
Pay attention to: when things that once brought you joy don’t do so anymore, when activities you engage in don’t feel adventurous anymore, when you wake up every day dreading the day ahead, when relationships don’t feel fulfilling and supportive anymore, when you are dragging yourself through the day from one thing to the next, when there is something you keep dreaming about and wanting, but can’t make yourself do it.
You don’t need to have all the answers.
Welcoming change is not a final destination. It’s continuous learning, trial and error, letting go of the old, falling and getting up again, not having all the answers, and oftentimes just having a blind faith that the best is yet to come!
The moment we believe we know everything about ourselves, we stop learning and being curious. Self inquiry and curiosity are some of the most powerful tools for healing and growth, because they challenge our assumptions and rigid beliefs we hold about ourselves - often beliefs that are hurting us.
When we don’t question our disempowering beliefs, we mistake them for truths about who we really are. But these beliefs are never who we are, they are learned as a response to deep wounding.
No matter what kind of wounds have been inflicted upon us in the past, our wise, authentic, curious, and compassionate self is always there because THAT is who we are. It is merely overshadowed by the hurtful beliefs.
In the moments of pause, reflection, and curiosity, we are able to connect to a choice between living and responding from our wounds or our wisdom.