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Living authentically and honoring yourself may involve making decisions others judge or disapprove of.
What if you let them have opinions and judgments? What if you let them not understand your decisions? What if you let them think whatever they are thinking? What if you let them be confused? Others have the right to think, judge, and believe whatever they want. You can’t change that. The need to change people’s opinions of us and gain their approval is a futile task. And it simply doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you will allow yourself to live your truth even if others don’t understand it or judge it. The only person who’s permission, understanding, and approval you need, is you.
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 If you don’t know what you want, maybe you haven’t spent enough time with yourself.
Self-discovery can start by simply as turning your curiosity inwards. Not to judge, evaluate, or analyze, but to observe and learn. Start with paying attention to: · How you feel in the space you live in · How you feel around people you choose to spend time with. · Your likes and dislikes · What excites you and what drains you · When you feel most energized · How do you connect to your purpose · Your dreams and desires · What you tell yourself about your dreams and desires · What it’s like to be in your body · When you feel most like yourself · When you feel most disconnected from yourself · Whether you would choose the life you are living · Why you do things you do · When you feel connected to a higher purpose · Ways in which you engage with others Each day or week, pick one of these areas to focus on and journal about what you’re learning and noticing about yourself.  There’s nothing fake about practicing new beliefs that may not *yet* feel true.
* The more you practice them, the more they will feel embodied. * Recently I heard that in order to change negative thoughts, you just need to replace them with the opposite/ positive thought. * This DOESN’T work, because you simply don’t believe that yet. Instead, think of a state (or a feeling) you would like to experience more frequently in your life. Maybe it’s inner peace, joy, presence, gratitude, flow, creativity, love, compassion, confidence, courage… Create a mantra or an affirmation around it that you *can* believe. For example… * I am choosing to believe that… * I would love to believe that… * I am willing to believe… Spend time every day intentionally practicing these new beliefs. Just like you don't expect to eat one healthy meal or do one workout and reap the benefits forever, personal growth and change takes consistent practice.  If you’re not empowered and excited by the fact that you have the freedom to change the course of your life, it’s because you’re scared.
Believing we are powerless can be easier than believing we are powerful. Believing we are powerless places the potential to change onto circumstances outside of ourselves. It requires others to behave in ways we want them to behave, to make us happy, to meet our needs… Believing we are powerful brings the responsibility back to us and puts us fully in charge of our life, decisions, happiness, and actions. It requires us to:
First, you have to be honest with yourself and meet your fears.
When you bring your fears to the forefront of your consciousness, they don't have the power to drive you without your permission. Once you know you're making decisions out of fear, you have a choice to change something about that. When you realize that you indeed have a lot more choice in your life that you allowed yourself to have, your instinct might be to use that to beat yourself up, judge, and criticize yourself. This is completely useless. It will create more powerlessness and you will spend more time and energy on feeling bad. The point of awareness is never to use it against yourself, but to use it FOR yourself. Find a way to use the new gained knowledge to support your intentions and goals. |
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