​Make yourself available for what feels good.
 
You can’t clutter your days with things that suffocate your peace and expect to feel good. 
 
If you want wholesome, energizing, or peaceful experiences, you have to invite them by making space for them.
 
How do you do that?
 
By removing the unnecessary burdens and self-imposed obligations.
 
By letting go of old values and fear guided actions.
 
By prioritizing what feels aligned and good on the inside.

Each one of us is contending with a challenge de jour, our own mountains if you will. And each one of us is uniquely equipped with resources needed to make that climb. Even though most of us at some point experienced the sense that "we're doing it wrong" or that "we're behind," there really is no right way, or the right timing to climb a mountain. 
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How do YOU want to do it? 
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​Are you focused on getting to the top as fast as you can or are you focused on making the climb the most meaningful and enjoyable part? Are you in a rush? What do you want to focus on as you're climbing? Will you allow yourself breaks to replenish and restore your energy? Will you bring a companion or you want it to be a solitary experience? What would it look like to do it for the sake of the process not the arrival?

You can be obsessed with the final result but if you hate the steps it takes to get there, will the "arrival" truly be fulfilling and meaningful? Will you be exhausted by the time you get to the top or full of great memories and energy to start another climb? What makes all the difference is our attitude towards the process and the challenges that come with it.

What if I'm climbing the wrong mountain?

If you're reading this and notice you're struggling with the lack of desire and motivation to stay in the process, it could be that you're climbing the wrong mountain. If you're in the middle of the process and you keep questioning every dang step along the way, check out my newsletter You Should Quit, in which I wrote about quitting things that aren't for you. 
To conclude, Miley Cyrus said it best in her The Climb​: "Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side,
It's the climb."

Most of our current problems are solutions our past self came up with when it didn't have more options or resources. Our patterned responses to people, situations, and internal experiences might not be helpful to the person we are today.

But those patterns can be traced back to a time in our life when this was the solution (whether from a place of creativity or lack of resources) we came up with considering the context we were in at the time. As we move through life, there will always be signs showing us when our old solutions have become outdated and ineffective.

Here's an example from my life. The summer before I turned 15, I started smoking cigarettes. It was a solution for fitting in and belonging in my small, but very close friend group. Over time, this habit became an identity and a way to socialize with people. I dragged this 10 year old habit with me to the U.S. where, almost overnight, it became a real impediment towards who I wanted to be. Smoking was more complicated to maintain in the U.S. than it was in Serbia and as I started paying more attention to my health and lifestyle. Being a smoker was a layer of identity I was fully ready to shed. I quit and never looked back. 

So next time you feel stuck in a reoccurring problem or a habit that seems hard to ditch, try to have a bit more compassion and respect for these patterns. See if you can understand how and why you developed them in the first place and how they might have been the right solution at a different time in your life. 

Reflection Questions:

• What current problem are you trying to solve that was (or maybe still is) an ineffective solution to another problem?
• Can you find a new solution that feels congruent with who you are now?
• What would be a more effective solution?

Our mind can often be like a harsh bully, ready to attack when we feel most vulnerable. It can make us feel weak and powerless.  

Our mind follows a familiar script it's been given when we were young. It repeats those voices we heard most often, and will keep speaking to us the same way we were spoken to. 

But we don't have to believe everything it's telling us about us. When that harsh voice pops in and starts becoming loud and obnoxious, we can take a step back and just notice what it's telling us without immediately defending or believing the content of those words. 

We might even say to ourselves "oh that old story again, I've heard this before." We might ask, "what else is there?"

When our predictable ways of responding to challenges don’t seem aligned with who we want to be, we have the ability to respond differently. When we're caught up in the moment, we don't give ourselves the space and the option to consider a different type of response, but that doesn't mean we are not capable of it. 

In order to respond differently, we simply need to give ourselves a bit of space and pause (something my client's often hear me say:)). In pause, we have the option to notice what we usually tend to do and then we have the option to decide if we actually want to that this particular time. We give ourselves a choice. 

Asking ourselves: How would a version of me that I aspire to be respond to this challenge? helps us zoom out of our habitual ways and be intentional in what we do and how we do it.

Happy journaling!