When we approach personal growth from a place of shame and self-judgment, we move further away from its intention and the whole process may start feeling like a self-punishment and a never-ending quest for “improvement.”
Here are a few things to remember:
1. Be patient - there is no place of arrival
2. Find a way to truly enjoy the process
3. Don’t measure your progress by where someone else is
4. A part of you may not want to change - try to understand why
5. You can get to the same place by motivating or criticizing yourself
Like anything in life, self-improvement can be used either as a tool or a weapon. Self-improvement is one of those things that we can very sneakily turn into a never ending ending cycle of "becoming better."
While I do believe that personal growth and change are inevitable parts of life, pursuing them from a place of shame and self-judgment becomes a game we can't win, and that's because we can't shame ourselves into feeling good about ourselves. Feeling good about ourselves comes from a sense of safety and acceptance, not judgment and shame.
Check in with yourself: Does desire for self-improvement and personal growth come from a place of excitement and self-honoring, or am I pursuing it because I don't feel worthy & enough as I am?
Thinking about doing something is not the same as doing it.
The only way to become good at something is to simply do it. Not just think and dream about doing it, but actually do it, because there is no substitute for the experience.
You can’t skip through the phases of first being bad at it, not knowing, falling, and learning, but the sooner you start, the sooner you’ll master it.