If you’re not empowered and excited by the fact that you have the freedom to change the course of your life, it’s because you’re scared.
Believing we are powerless can be easier than believing we are powerful.
Believing we are powerless places the potential to change onto circumstances outside of ourselves.
It requires others to behave in ways we want them to behave, to make us happy, to meet our needs…
Believing we are powerful brings the responsibility back to us and puts us fully in charge of our life, decisions, happiness, and actions.
It requires us to:
First, you have to be honest with yourself and meet your fears.
When you bring your fears to the forefront of your consciousness, they don't have the power to drive you without your permission. Once you know you're making decisions out of fear, you have a choice to change something about that.
When you realize that you indeed have a lot more choice in your life that you allowed yourself to have, your instinct might be to use that to beat yourself up, judge, and criticize yourself. This is completely useless. It will create more powerlessness and you will spend more time and energy on feeling bad.
The point of awareness is never to use it against yourself, but to use it FOR yourself. Find a way to use the new gained knowledge to support your intentions and goals.
Why can’t you be the first one?
Just because no one around you took risks and opportunities, or decided to go against the grain, doesn’t mean your path can’t be different. If you grew up without seeing examples of the life and accomplishments you’re dreaming of, be the first one to do it!
If you know you could do more with your life, instead of being paralyzed by not knowing what or how, just take any step. Just make one decision that feels right and see where it takes you. If that turns out not to be your path, you will know!
Instead of living with regret and asking yourself “what if...”
You can pressure and push yourself towards something or you can be pulled towards it.
Judging, pressuring, and shaming yourself is one way to change, grow, and accomplish. It’s the way we use when we’re not connected to our deeper truth and authentic “why.”
We do that when our desires are driven by lack, scarcity, and neediness instead of our true desires for growth and expansion.
It’s a way that will leave you feeling exhausted, tired, burned out, and resentful.
It will leave you feeling unsatisfied and empty. Nothing you accomplish will be good enough.
When you are connected to your meaning and purpose, you are pulled towards it. You still work for it, but the work is exciting and enjoyable.
If either one can give you the same end result, how would you want to get there? Who do you want to be when you accomplish it?
You don’t need to give up on your dreams because it’s hard, you just need to find a way that’s on your terms - through acceptance, self-compassion, and empowerment.
As we move through life, it is natural to change and evolve. We will feel that change needs to take place when the way we navigated life isn’t working in our favor anymore. Changes can be abrupt and unexpected or subtle and predictable.
Our natural reaction may be to resist these changes and fight to preserve the consistency of who we know ourselves to be, as long as we can. This is who we are as humans. We like predictability because it gives us a sense of control. But resistance can cause more suffering, grief, frustration, anxiety, and panic, than the change itself. Simply tweaking a few things can work miracles, and before we know it, we feel skilled navigating this new season that wanted to unfold.
At other times, we are required to undergo a major shift in life: learn new skills, challenge old beliefs, and embrace new behaviors. How do you know if a change is knocking on your door?
Pay attention to: when things that once brought you joy don’t do so anymore, when activities you engage in don’t feel adventurous anymore, when you wake up every day dreading the day ahead, when relationships don’t feel fulfilling and supportive anymore, when you are dragging yourself through the day from one thing to the next, when there is something you keep dreaming about and wanting, but can’t make yourself do it.
You don’t need to have all the answers.
Welcoming change is not a final destination. It’s continuous learning, trial and error, letting go of the old, falling and getting up again, not having all the answers, and oftentimes just having a blind faith that the best is yet to come!