Why can’t you be the first one?
Just because no one around you took risks and opportunities, or decided to go against the grain, doesn’t mean your path can’t be different. If you grew up without seeing examples of the life and accomplishments you’re dreaming of, be the first one to do it!
If you know you could do more with your life, instead of being paralyzed by not knowing what or how, just take any step. Just make one decision that feels right and see where it takes you. If that turns out not to be your path, you will know!
Instead of living with regret and asking yourself “what if...”
The moment we believe we know everything about ourselves, we stop learning and being curious. Self inquiry and curiosity are some of the most powerful tools for healing and growth, because they challenge our assumptions and rigid beliefs we hold about ourselves - often beliefs that are hurting us.
When we don’t question our disempowering beliefs, we mistake them for truths about who we really are. But these beliefs are never who we are, they are learned as a response to deep wounding.
No matter what kind of wounds have been inflicted upon us in the past, our wise, authentic, curious, and compassionate self is always there because THAT is who we are. It is merely overshadowed by the hurtful beliefs.
In the moments of pause, reflection, and curiosity, we are able to connect to a choice between living and responding from our wounds or our wisdom.
If we want to create different results, we must look towards our future. We can’t keep turning towards the past to tell us what we’re capable of, what is possible for us, and how we can get to where we want to be. Past is limited with what it can show us because it only has experiences of what has already happened, not what hasn’t happened yet.
So If we want to create something we never had, we must ask our future self, not our past self.
Daily visualization was one of the most impactful tools I utilized to connect to my desired states, feelings, and experiences. If you think of the version of yourself in the future that lives your most authentic life, how is this person different from who you are right now?
Take your time with this and allow yourself to embody the feelings you'd experience if you already were the person you wish to be.
Don’t get bogged down by how you are going to get there. Allow yourself just to notice and reflect on the differences. Does anything surprise you?
If your mind doesn’t have something specific to focus on (i.e. creativity, finding solutions, accomplishing a goal, etc.) it will focus on the familiar and comfortable. That’s what minds do. Familiar and comfortable often includes behaviors, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and perceptions that directly go against what we most want for ourselves. Familiar and comfortable is most often not who we truly are and what we truly want, but it's what we learned at some point and then kept repeating, so it is easy and well known to us- it requires no effort.
Important question to consider are:
If the answers are “no,” then you can start by telling your mind what to focus on and how to be your servant, not your master.
Start by setting a daily intention for yourself.
I.e. “I want to make choices that support my health,” or “I want to be peaceful and calm.” Be clear and specific.
Create check ins with yourself throughout the day and notice when you’re being in ways that go against what you want for yourself.
Be gentle and nonjudgmental. Remember your intention. Think of all the ways in which your life would be different if you lived from that intention.
One moment at a time, you’re teaching your mind to work for you, not against you.