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How Do You Want to Get There?

5/5/2022

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​You can pressure and push yourself towards something or you can be pulled towards it.
 
Judging, pressuring, and shaming yourself is one way to change, grow, and accomplish. It’s the way we use when we’re not connected to our deeper truth and authentic “why.”
 
We do that when our desires are driven by lack, scarcity, and neediness instead of our true desires for growth and expansion.
 
It’s a way that will leave you feeling exhausted, tired, burned out, and resentful.
 
It will leave you feeling unsatisfied and empty. Nothing you accomplish will be good enough.
 
When you are connected to your meaning and purpose, you are pulled towards it. You still work for it, but the work is exciting and enjoyable.
 
If either one can give you the same end result, how would you want to get there? Who do you want to be when you accomplish it?
 
You don’t need to give up on your dreams because it’s hard, you just need to find a way that’s on your terms - through acceptance, self-compassion, and empowerment.
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Allowing Change

5/3/2022

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As we move through life, it is natural to change and evolve. We will feel that change needs to take place when the way we navigated life isn’t working in our favor anymore. Changes can be abrupt and unexpected or subtle and predictable.

Our natural reaction may be to resist these changes and fight to preserve the consistency of who we know ourselves to be, as long as we can. This is who we are as humans. We like predictability because it gives us a sense of control. But resistance can cause more suffering, grief, frustration, anxiety, and panic, than the change itself. Simply tweaking a few things can work miracles, and before we know it, we feel skilled navigating this new season that wanted to unfold.
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At other times, we are required to undergo a major shift in life: learn new skills, challenge old beliefs, and embrace new behaviors. How do you know if a change is knocking on your door?

Pay attention to: when things that once brought you joy don’t do so anymore, when activities you engage in don’t feel adventurous anymore, when you wake up every day dreading the day ahead, when relationships don’t feel fulfilling and supportive anymore, when you are dragging yourself through the day from one thing to the next, when there is something you keep dreaming about and wanting, but can’t make yourself do it.

You don’t need to have all the answers.
Welcoming change is not a final destination. It’s continuous learning, trial and error, letting go of the old, falling and getting up again, not having all the answers, and oftentimes just having a blind faith that the best is yet to come!

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Reflection on Desires

4/17/2022

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Your desire is your permission. When you authentically want something, the desire in itself is your permission to pursue it. There is a reason why this desire came to you. Following its direction is following your growth, potential, and fulfillment. 
 
You can’t explain it away with logic, because true desires don’t come from there, they come from the heart. They come from the most authentic, wise part of us that we are not always aware of. 
 
You can’t ask others for permission to follow your desires. It’s not for them to approve or allow something that was meant specifically for you to realize. Others might not understand it, they might believe it is frivolous or silly. They might even want to discourage you from following your desires. But ultimately, it is your journey, not theirs, so you do not need to listen to anyone else, other that yourself. 

  • What would you do if you truly believed you don’t need permission?
  • What desire keeps calling you?
  • What excited you about following this desire? 
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Future Self Journaling Exercise

4/7/2022

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If we want to create different results, we must look towards our future. We can’t keep turning towards the past to tell us what we’re capable of, what is possible for us, and how we can get to where we want to be. Past is limited with what it can show us because it only has experiences of what has already happened, not what hasn’t happened yet.

​So If we want to create something we never had, we must ask our future self, not our past self. 

Daily visualization was one of the most impactful tools I utilized to connect to my desired states, feelings, and experiences. If you think of the version of yourself in the future that lives your most authentic life, how is this person different from who you are right now?
  • How are they being?
  • What are they doing?
  • What are they having?

Take your time with this and allow yourself to embody the feelings you'd experience if you already were the person you wish to be. 

Don’t get bogged down by how you are going to get there. Allow yourself just to notice and reflect on the differences. Does anything surprise you?
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Sladja Redner, MA, LPC Associate, Certified NARM Therapist 
​Supervised by Jill Praisner, MA, LPC-S   


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