I have a vivid memory of the time I said something that, in the past would take me into a full shame and self-judgment spiral. But that time, there was lightness about it. I couldn't stop laughing at myself.

I felt that something was different about me. Unlike previous times, I didn't feel like that moment defined me in any way or that it made me flawed or broken. It was just a funny moment.

This moment made me think of other ways in which healing and growth shows up internally. 

• Laughing at ourselves, taking things less seriously & personally

• Seeking out more pleasure, fun, and joy

• Being more creative, spontaneous, and open-minded

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• Giving yourself more choices

 
As we heal, we stop using all of our energy to control situations and to protect ourselves from perceived dangers.
 
And the less we do that, we have more energy (life force) to create and connect to experiences that are light and enjoyable.
 
We understand that our ‘mistakes’ don’t make us less worthy, capable, or lovable.
 
We feel free and see choices that previously weren’t obvious to us.
 
What would you add to this list? Have you noticed any similar shifts in yourself?

​When you authentically want something, the desire in itself is your permission to pursue it.

It doesn’t have to be analyzed or explained with logic, because true desire comes from the heart.

It doesn’t have to be approved by others because it was meant for you to realize.

Consider:
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What desire would you pursue if you gave yourself permission to do so?

You’re not struggling to “be yourself.” You’re struggling because you believe you need to be someone else.

Being ourselves becomes difficult when we:

• Believe that who we genuinely are is not lovable or good enough
• Contort ourselves into the person we think we should be
• Shrink all of our humanity and complexity into one “flaw”
• Fear rejection if we fully show ourselves
• Criticize and shame ourselves for who we are.
• Believe having needs is needy
• Pressure ourselves to be different

 
The being part is easy. What’s difficult are the internal pressures and painful stories we tell ourselves.
 
Next time you think you don’t know how to be yourself, notice:

• What kinds of constrictions and pressures you’re putting on yourself
• What are you afraid would happen if you let yourself be?
• What are you telling yourself in that moment?

​Beliefs that helped us survive will not help us thrive. They will keep us stuck.
 
Any set of beliefs that hold us back and limit our growth, helped us adapt and survive in particular set of circumstances, usually unhealthy, traumatic, and disfunctional environments.
 
But those beliefs are not who we are. They are not truths about us. The truth about who we are is underneath those beliefs, waiting to be discovered and set free.
 
It is for our highest good to let go and shift any beliefs about ourselves that don’t serve our current life.
 
It is for our highest good to decide on purpose what we want to believe about ourselves moving forward.
 
Questions to reflect on:
 

• What is your definition of thriving?
• What would you have to believe about yourself to feel like you’re thriving?