Beginning of a new month is a great time for reflection and pause. 

It’s a great time to re-evaluate what we want to leave behind and consciously make new decisions.

Here are a few questions I’ve been reflecting on:

• What needs to stop with me?
• What needs to start with me?
• What role am I called to step into?

Don’t borrow time from the present moment to create suffering for yourself.
 
We dwell in the past, regret our ‘bad’ choices, replay painful events, or escape into the future.
 
Each time we think about past we are taking the time from the present moment and we are forcing ourselves re-live it and feel the pain of it.

A big part of healing is being able to live more fully in the moment, rather than from the memories of the past. 
 
Reflection questions:
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• Would it be like to not live from a memory?
  
• To take each moment as is and not taint it with past suffering?

. YouMaybe you feel stuck in a cycle of “working on yourself” but never feeling quite content and peaceful. Maybe you’re stuck in a never ending search for that next thing. A better mentor, more knowledge, or a tool that will finally help you shift into a different version of yourself.
 
Although we never stop evolving and changing, there is a difference between intrinsic desire for growth and compulsive self-improvement driven by internal sense of brokenness.
 
Doing personal growth work from a place of overwhelm, fear, shame, self-judgment, and criticism, will not result in self-acceptance or healthy self-esteem, because it is driven by deep emotional wounding.
 
When past wounds aren’t attended to and processed, they’re like a well that can’t be filled.
 
When the core of your identity is wrapped up in self-hatred, “working on yourself” simply won’t work.
 
Here are some ways in which you may get stuck in constant personal development cycle. You:

• Treat yourself like a problem to be fixed
• Pursue growth from a place of shame
• Avoid processing past trauma
• Try to override feelings with fake positivity
• Believe there is a place of arrival

 
The way to get started is to start addressing causes of your suffering, not just focus on getting rid of the symptoms. Working with a therapist or a coach one on one is best for this kind of work because it allows you to begin where you are.

Always treat yourself in the same way you’re asking others to treat you. If you want others to behave a certain way towards you, be honest with yourself first:

Are you treating yourself in the same way?
Are you asking others to fulfill needs that even you’re not sure how to fulfill?