How To Be Confident
When it comes to tips on confidence, you've probably heard of the good old advice to "fake till you make it."
This requires you to will yourself into it and pretend that you feel something you don't really feel. I'm not saying this is a bad advice as it may work for some people.
But what if all this focusing on wanting to be more confident keeps you in the constant search of it? That search perpetuates the belief that you don't have it, because we only search for what we lack.
I believe there is something more powerful and important than confidence, and that is desire.
The key to being more confident is to stop focusing so hard on confidence (or lack thereof) and focus on something within you that already exists, and that is, desire. The strength of your desire will always trump the lack of confidence.
Think about the times in your life you did something bold, scary, or uncertain. Did you always feel confident? Probably not! But you still did it. Why? Because your desire was so much stronger than your fear or insecurity that it didn’t matter if you did it scared.
If you are in a place where you’re waiting around to feel more confident or you feel like you're holding yourself back because you think you need to be more confident fist, I invite to stop focusing on confidence and instead start focusing on your desire.
Really think about what is it that you want and why you want it?
Let that lead you. Really let yourself connect to the feeling of bringing that desire into reality.
Want to read more posts about desire? Check out this post!
One of the most frequent oppositions to journaling is "I don't know what to write" and "I'm not good at writing." Here is my answer to this.
First, you don't need to know what to write, you just need to begin anywhere and the writing will unfold and take you where it wants to take you. Journaling can be about writing down your thoughts and letting go of the clutter in your mind. It can be about intentionally bringing yourself into a positive mood, inspiring yourself, and talking yourself up. It can be about writing down your feelings, frustrations, and questions about big and small things in life. There is no right or wrong way when it comes to journaling.
Second, journaling is not for those who deem themselves good writers - it's for everyone! You absolutely do not need to be good at writing. No one is going to read this. This is just for you, and I often suggest for people to not even read it. You may just want to write it and forget it.
Here are a few journaling prompts for connecting to your desires.
It would wonderful if…
It’s time for me to let go of…
It’s time for me to embrace…
These prompts will help you journal your way into a positive mindset by shifting your awareness towards experiences that create internal states of peace, joy, creativity, and excitement.
On Being Misunderstood
Don’t give up your uniqueness because you’re afraid of being misunderstood. You WILL be misunderstood, especially if you’re following your own truth instead of conventional wisdom. You will be misunderstood if you challenge the norms instead of blindly follow them. Sometimes you need to make the brave choice of trusting yourself even if others don’t seem to understand you.
Want to vs. Should
Ask yourself more if you want to
rather than if you should.
Give yourself a choice.
Many obligations are self-imposed by our own *shoulds* that are guided by fears.
If you weren’t worried about pleasing others and doing things because you believe you should, what would you stop doing?
How would things change if you ask yourself more often:
What do *I* want?