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How to Stop Worrying

2/1/2023

 
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First, you have to recognize that worrying is not productive or helpful. No amount of worrying can solve a problem. Worrying is a state of mind that produces anxiety and (plot twist) leads to move anxiety, not solutions. 

My husband sometimes asks me: “Aren’t YOU worried?” And I’m like: ”Ummm no? But I could be if you think that’ll help!” That usually gets me an eye roll.

But seriously. Any problem is either something you have control over or you don’t. 

That leads me to my second, and last, point. Distinguish if you have control over the problem or not. 


If you do, the question is:

Are you willing to do something about it?  And "What are you willing to do about it?"


If you don’t have control over it, any combination of surrender, hope, and pray will do.

Want more tips like this? Read this post about stuckness!



Your Biggest Adventures Are Ahead of You

10/15/2022

 
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If you believed your greatest experiences are in front of you, instead of behind you...

° How would you show up for yourself?
° What decisions would you make today?
° How would you feel about your life?

When we’re young, the belief that our greatest adventures are yet to happen, comes naturally to us. But over time we start limiting ourselves more and more.

Approaching life with a sense of wonder gets lost over time.

We become fearful of the unknown instead of excited by it.

At some point, we decide that we should have accomplished certain things already and then we stop trying.


​Seeking out new experiences doesn’t have to end at a certain age. We can always find something to look forward to. We can choose to nurture our sense of excitement and allow ourselves to dream until we die.

Note to Self

9/26/2022

 
Don’t borrow time from the present moment to create suffering for yourself.
 
We dwell in the past, regret our ‘bad’ choices, replay painful events, or escape into the future.
 
Each time we think about past we are taking the time from the present moment and we are forcing ourselves re-live it and feel the pain of it.

A big part of healing is being able to live more fully in the moment, rather than from the memories of the past. 
 
Reflection questions:
​
  • Would it be like to not live from a memory?
  • To take each moment as is and not taint it with past suffering?

True Self vs Conditioned Self

9/8/2022

 
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In moments of clarity, presence, and empowerment, we remember that we want more for ourselves. We don’t force this, it arises naturally. In those moments, we feel connected to a deep self-determination and desire to move forward. We become free from the limitations of our past, even if just for a moment.

In those moments, we feel free from shame and self-criticism. We stop defining ourselves by our limitations and instead allow ourselves to see a possibility of all we could be, do, and experience. We are in our true self. 

When we’re in this place, we support ourselves to dream big, create, be inspired, curious, compassionate, energized, and connected. We may decide that the way we currently live our life doesn’t fit us anymore. Maybe we set big goals and make promises to ourselves.

Also naturally, we disconnect from those moments, and go back to our usual ways of living that feel familiar and comfortable, yet constricting. Our conditioned self returns.

Maybe it doesn’t yet feel safe to be in the moments of presence and connection for too long. In these moments our conditioned self may tell us that those desires we felt so connected to in one moment, aren’t possible, or that they don’t happen to people like us, or that we are broken, or that we will fail because we failed in the past.

Our conditioned self is fearful of change and growth.

It wants to bring us back to the state of fear and complacency. That voice may sound like a voice of reason and it may be too loud to ignore. That voice will fight for our limitations and will want us to rebel against the promises we made to ourselves when we felt empowered.

In these moments, we have to remind that voice:

I’m doing this for me.
I’m choosing what supports me.
My true desires are coming from self-love. 
​It is safe and healthy to want more. 


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Sladja Redner, MA, LPC, Certified NARM Therapist, Certified Life Coach 
  


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