There are so many situation in which we had no choice as children. We simply lived by the rules we learned and adopted them as truths. As children, we didn’t have a choice but to be around people who kept hurting us, but as adult we do. Staying in situations and with people who are hurtful is an old rule we no longer need to live by.
There is no point at which someone tells that those rules no longer apply and we get to choose which ones we want to keep and which ones we want to let go. We often takes old principles to adulthood not fully realizing that we no longer have to stay in situations or around people that keep hurting us.
You may never grow and change in someone else’s mind. People may not want to give up the opinion they have of you. In their mind, you may always remain a one-dimensional character.
Once someone thinks they know you, they may never change their mind. Everything you say or do may be filtered through a well established opinion they have of you. It’s not your job to change their mind. You don’t need to prove anything to anybody.
What matters is whether you let yourself be who you want to be. What matters is that you don’t reduce yourself to one trait, one mistake, one opinion, or one interest. You can be so many different things at the same time.
If you found this helpful, you may enjoy What Will People Think? blog post.
First, you have to recognize that worrying is not productive or helpful. No amount of worrying can solve a problem. Worrying is a state of mind that produces anxiety and (plot twist) leads to move anxiety, not solutions.
My husband sometimes asks me: “Aren’t YOU worried?” And I’m like: ”Ummm no? But I could be if you think that’ll help!” That usually gets me an eye roll.
But seriously. Any problem is either something you have control over or you don’t.
That leads me to my second, and last, point. Distinguish if you have control over the problem or not.
If you do, the question is:
Are you willing to do something about it? And "What are you willing to do about it?"
If you don’t have control over it, any combination of surrender, hope, and pray will do.
Want more tips like this? Read this post about stuckness!
Instead of burdening yourself guessing what someone may be thinking of feeling, just ask them. This goes the other way around. Don’t expect someone to know what your internal experience is unless you’ve told them. We all rely on assumptions to some degree, but many times what we think others are thinking are just our thoughts. The only way to truly know is to ask.