![]() Balance doesn't mean we equally give attention to every aspect of our life. It is about knowing what matters to us, and what our needs, values, and priorities are. The below suggestions are based on my personal 'rules' so feel free to take what resonates and adapt them in a way that makes sense to you. Redefining balance is not about forcing yourself to mimic someone else's way of living, but creating your own so it is sustainable with your lifestyle. 1. Start with daily non-negotiables. These are daily habits that create the foundation for your mental and physical health. I try to prioritize these regardless of how busy or unpredictable other areas of my life are. I look at this as the foundation around which everything is arranged. 2. Spend more time on fulfilling experiences, people, and activities, and spend less time on soul sucking ones. Knowing what energizes you and what drains you AND intentionally making decisions from this awareness is crucial. Notice your energy levels at different times of the day, around various people, activities, experiences, topics, places, etc. 3. Ask yourself what matters to you in this season. For example, if I notice a lack of enthusiasm for something I enjoyed doing, or if it feels like I'm forcing myself to pursue a goal I set a while back, I reevaluate whether it still has the same importance to me and if it doesn't, I give myself the option to take a break from it or spend less time on it. Our priorities will shift as we change and evolve. 4. Minimize reliance on coping strategies for immediate relief and satisfaction. We all have our habitual ways of responding to distress, but coping strategies that are geared towards escaping our experience and quickly feeling better, often leave us feeling worse in the long term or they tend to create an additional problem. Instead, learn how to be with and tolerate distress and seek to find more grounding and creative ways of coping with it. ![]() Just because things could be worse, doesn’t mean you need to wait for a crisis to change what’s no longer working. Over time, parts we don’t like about our life and habits that are draining our energy become tolerable. Instead of using our time to change what we don’t like, we use the time to learn how to tolerate, cope with, and manage them. We comfort ourselves by saying “it’s not that bad” and “it could be worse.” And yes, things could always be worse, but why wait for a crisis to change something that’s not working now? When we’re in a crisis mode, we don’t have the energy and emotional stamina to approach problems in a productive way. So don’t wait until you have no choice but to change. Honor the part of you that wants more out of life now. Working with a professional can be crucial because we can’t fully see ways in which we keep ourselves stuck and we can’t identify our own painful stories because we’re too attached to them. I would love to help! Check out my psychotherapy and coaching pages, or book a session and experience the power of coaching! ![]() As soon as you wake up, you are starting to create a momentum. You start creating energy that will persist throughout your entire day. If you’re not aware that you’re creating a momentum, it just means that you’re creating it by default. It means you’re letting random thoughts and feelings to dictate your internal experience and your actions. You’re unconsciously reacting and when you’re doing that, you’re creating a negative momentum. And once it gets going it takes great amount of energy and emotional resource to interrupt it and change it. Morning is the time when it’s the easiest to create on purpose instead of by default. Does your morning routine feel calm and grounding or chaotic? Is it setting you up for a great day or for overwhelm? Don’t overthink this. Don’t worry about having to do things like everyone else is suggesting. Think about how would you like to feel throughout the day and what would help you connect to that feeling as soon as you wake up. You don’t need to change your whole routine if that feels overwhelming. Introduce small changes and build on them ![]() First, you have to recognize that worrying is not productive or helpful. No amount of worrying can solve a problem. Worrying is a state of mind that produces anxiety and (plot twist) leads to move anxiety, not solutions. My husband sometimes asks me: “Aren’t YOU worried?” And I’m like: ”Ummm no? But I could be if you think that’ll help!” That usually gets me an eye roll. But seriously. Any problem is either something you have control over or you don’t. That leads me to my second, and last, point. Distinguish if you have control over the problem or not. If you do, the question is: Are you willing to do something about it? And "What are you willing to do about it?" If you don’t have control over it, any combination of surrender, hope, and pray will do. Want more tips like this? Read this post about stuckness! |
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May 2023
AuthorSladja Redner |