If you’re not empowered and excited by the fact that you have the freedom to change the course of your life, it’s because you’re scared.
Believing we are powerless can be easier than believing we are powerful.
Believing we are powerless places the potential to change onto circumstances outside of ourselves.
It requires others to behave in ways we want them to behave, to make us happy, to meet our needs…
Believing we are powerful brings the responsibility back to us and puts us fully in charge of our life, decisions, happiness, and actions.
It requires us to:
First, you have to be honest with yourself and meet your fears.
When you bring your fears to the forefront of your consciousness, they don't have the power to drive you without your permission. Once you know you're making decisions out of fear, you have a choice to change something about that.
When you realize that you indeed have a lot more choice in your life that you allowed yourself to have, your instinct might be to use that to beat yourself up, judge, and criticize yourself. This is completely useless. It will create more powerlessness and you will spend more time and energy on feeling bad.
The point of awareness is never to use it against yourself, but to use it FOR yourself. Find a way to use the new gained knowledge to support your intentions and goals.
As we move through life, it is natural to change and evolve. We will feel that change needs to take place when the way we navigated life isn’t working in our favor anymore. Changes can be abrupt and unexpected or subtle and predictable.
Our natural reaction may be to resist these changes and fight to preserve the consistency of who we know ourselves to be, as long as we can. This is who we are as humans. We like predictability because it gives us a sense of control. But resistance can cause more suffering, grief, frustration, anxiety, and panic, than the change itself. Simply tweaking a few things can work miracles, and before we know it, we feel skilled navigating this new season that wanted to unfold.
At other times, we are required to undergo a major shift in life: learn new skills, challenge old beliefs, and embrace new behaviors. How do you know if a change is knocking on your door?
Pay attention to: when things that once brought you joy don’t do so anymore, when activities you engage in don’t feel adventurous anymore, when you wake up every day dreading the day ahead, when relationships don’t feel fulfilling and supportive anymore, when you are dragging yourself through the day from one thing to the next, when there is something you keep dreaming about and wanting, but can’t make yourself do it.
You don’t need to have all the answers.
Welcoming change is not a final destination. It’s continuous learning, trial and error, letting go of the old, falling and getting up again, not having all the answers, and oftentimes just having a blind faith that the best is yet to come!
If we want to create different results, we must look towards our future. We can’t keep turning towards the past to tell us what we’re capable of, what is possible for us, and how we can get to where we want to be. Past is limited with what it can show us because it only has experiences of what has already happened, not what hasn’t happened yet.
So If we want to create something we never had, we must ask our future self, not our past self.
Daily visualization was one of the most impactful tools I utilized to connect to my desired states, feelings, and experiences. If you think of the version of yourself in the future that lives your most authentic life, how is this person different from who you are right now?
Take your time with this and allow yourself to embody the feelings you'd experience if you already were the person you wish to be.
Don’t get bogged down by how you are going to get there. Allow yourself just to notice and reflect on the differences. Does anything surprise you?
If your mind doesn’t have something specific to focus on (i.e. creativity, finding solutions, accomplishing a goal, etc.) it will focus on the familiar and comfortable. That’s what minds do. Familiar and comfortable often includes behaviors, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and perceptions that directly go against what we most want for ourselves. Familiar and comfortable is most often not who we truly are and what we truly want, but it's what we learned at some point and then kept repeating, so it is easy and well known to us- it requires no effort.
Important question to consider are:
If the answers are “no,” then you can start by telling your mind what to focus on and how to be your servant, not your master.
Start by setting a daily intention for yourself.
I.e. “I want to make choices that support my health,” or “I want to be peaceful and calm.” Be clear and specific.
Create check ins with yourself throughout the day and notice when you’re being in ways that go against what you want for yourself.
Be gentle and nonjudgmental. Remember your intention. Think of all the ways in which your life would be different if you lived from that intention.
One moment at a time, you’re teaching your mind to work for you, not against you.