It’s so tempting to believe someone has all the answers for you. But this is not the case. We have a natural tendency to avoid discomfort and want to skip through the hard stuff (no judgment, I prefer things to be easy too!).
But no matter how great your mentor, healer, coach, or therapist is, they can’t help you transcend the real life lessons that you are meant to learn.
Even if it feels like an experience you had in the past, you haven't lived this moment yet. Let yourself fully experience it without seeing it through the eyes of the past.
Progress is when you realize you’re in a place that so many past versions of you longed to be in. It happens as a result of a work no one can do for you but yourself and there's no way around it but through.
Balance doesn't mean we equally give attention to every aspect of our life. It is about knowing what matters to us, and what our needs, values, and priorities are. The below suggestions are based on my personal 'rules' so feel free to take what resonates and adapt them in a way that makes sense to you. Redefining balance is not about forcing yourself to mimic someone else's way of living, but creating your own so it is sustainable with your lifestyle.
1. Start with daily non-negotiables.
These are daily habits that create the foundation for your mental and physical health. I try to prioritize these regardless of how busy or unpredictable other areas of my life are. I look at this as the foundation around which everything is arranged.
2. Spend more time on fulfilling experiences, people, and activities, and spend less time on soul sucking ones.
Knowing what energizes you and what drains you AND intentionally making decisions from this awareness is crucial. Notice your energy levels at different times of the day, around various people, activities, experiences, topics, places, etc.
3. Ask yourself what matters to you in this season.
For example, if I notice a lack of enthusiasm for something I enjoyed doing, or if it feels like I'm forcing myself to pursue a goal I set a while back, I reevaluate whether it still has the same importance to me and if it doesn't, I give myself the option to take a break from it or spend less time on it. Our priorities will shift as we change and evolve.
4. Minimize reliance on coping strategies for immediate relief and satisfaction.
We all have our habitual ways of responding to distress, but coping strategies that are geared towards escaping our experience and quickly feeling better, often leave us feeling worse in the long term or they tend to create an additional problem. Instead, learn how to be with and tolerate distress and seek to find more grounding and creative ways of coping with it.