For a while now, I felt called to work with individuals who are not necessarily struggling with mental health concerns or need healing, but instead are ready for their next growth opportunity. With honoring this passion of mine, I am excited to now offer online coaching in addition to psychotherapy!
How does coaching help?
When we are so deeply fused with our thoughts and feelings (as most of us are), we cannot objectively see outside of ourselves. We believe the things that our mind creates, and oftentimes, this keeps us in the cycle of fear, self-loathing, anxiety, criticism, doubt, or overthinking. This is why coaching can be valuable - it helps us see and understand something that we can’t see ourselves because we are in it.
Psychotherapy and coaching serve different needs at different points in one’s life.
Therapy helps when someone is deep in their struggles and unable to find a way to untangle themselves from pain, regret, and suffering. If you feel like you live on autopilot, constantly repeating old behaviors and thought patterns that keep you stuck and deeply sad, or if you keep turning towards the past and need a place to process and make sense of how it is affecting you in the present moment, therapy can help. In my own therapy, I gained insight and awareness of the beliefs that were (subconsciously) guiding my actions, how and when I learned to believe them, and how they were hindering me from living the life I wanted for myself.
Once you go through your own healing and growth, you may come to the point where you feel as if you could do, be, and have more. This may involve the process of discovering your true self and aligning your actions with your new beliefs and values. As you start striving forward, you will realize that, while you can’t change anything that happened in the past, you can create the life that is ahead of you. It is as if you start remembering that you are no longer a helpless child waiting to be saved and that it is up to you to take responsibility for your life. Coaching and personal development helped me understand my fears that kept coming up (and still do :)) any time I was moving closer to my goals and how they were trying to keep me in the same, old, comfortable place I so desperately wanted to leave behind.
While I believe that continuous investment in my own personal and professional growth never truly ends, I’m excited and honored to be at the point where I have the tools to help others overcome their own limiting patterns and become the person they were meant to be.
Who I work with?
In my psychotherapy practice, I specialize in developmental trauma. I work with individuals who struggle to move on from the past and long to heal difficult childhood experiences and emotional neglect. This often shows up as “recreating” the same unwanted circumstances, self-sabotaging behaviors and thoughts, and emotional turmoil. Psychotherapy is often long term and a non-linear process of creating safety and understanding how behaviors that were once helpful, now create constriction and limitation in the present.
In my coaching practice, I work with those who are eager to move onto that next step of inner transformation and change. I’m passionate about helping new - and first generation professionals overcome impostor syndrome and master their mindset so they can accomplish their goals and feel confident and deserving of an abundant, fulfilled life. Also, I love helping those wanting to create healthy habits and lifestyle changes that will support their wellbeing long term. These two areas combine my main passions, striving for professional and personal fulfillment. My mission in my own life is to keep becoming the best version of myself and keep creating the life I desire instead of recreating the one that I was born into. And that is what I want to help others achieve for themselves, whether it’s through psychotherapy or coaching.
If you need support with getting started and reaching your goals, I would love to hear from you! Check out my Coaching page and reach out for a free consultation. Let’s get started!
No matter how much we know within our minds that other people’s opinions of us do not matter, and what truly matters is only how we see ourselves, it is much more difficult to embody this notion with confidence and own it as truth.
When we feel a strong desire to pursue and do something that goes against a deep-seated self-image and identity, we usually say: “what will people think, that’s not how they know me,” or “I’ve never done that before,” or “they’ve never seen me in that role.” All that means is: “I need to behave in a way that’s familiar to others, and if I don’t, I’m afraid they will judge me.”
When we feel stuck in an identity and behaviors that are constricting due to what others may think or say, it’s because we feel as though we must preserve the (perceived) image they have of us. We feel compelled to continue being who others think we are, based on how we behaved in the past. And oftentimes, we give into that lie. But it is not our responsibility to keep being the same person we once were to keep others comfortable. Our responsibility is to become who we were meant to become – and a big part of that includes shedding old beliefs and doing what we’ve never done before.
What gets in the way of change?
You know how to be your old self really well as you’ve done it your whole life. Even though that old self is constantly engaging in hurtful behaviors, even though it’s continuously criticizing everything you do, even though it’s blaming everyone else for its fate, even though it is anxious and full of fear, and even though it allows itself to be treated poorly…You just know really well how to be that old self.
With the new identity that’s trying to emerge, there comes a lot of fear. It’s as if you are leaving a cocoon of comfort and safety to become a butterfly. But what you are afraid of is just a feeling. That’s right – a feeling. You are afraid of what it will feel like if you were to be judged, criticized, or given an opinion you don’t like. The only result is an uncomfortable feeling. Remember that, your power is in feeling and acknowledging the discomfort without allowing it to decide for you.
What to focus on instead?
Even though you know how to be this old self, there is something new seeking expression. You may notice snippets or an unfamiliar identity that’s dying to emerge. It comes in daydreams, imaginations, fantasies, desires, thoughts. Perhaps it’s a bit uncertain and shy, and maybe you don’t allow yourself to entertain it for too long. But it keeps coming up and you can’t help but wonder “what if this could be possible, what if I can actually do this, what if I pursue this seriously, what if I bet on myself, what if I trust myself for the first time, what if I go against who I’m expected to be, what if I invest in myself, what if I don’t have to keep doing the same thing just because I’ve always done it…”
When you find yourself in a predicament in which you notice yourself making decisions based on what you think people will think or say, it is important to challenge those beliefs instead of taking them as facts. If you believe these thoughts, you are more likely to choose the most comfortable action (non-action) to appease the discomfort and keep yourself in complacency. Acknowledging fear is important, but if you allow it to decide for you, you will never do anything new again.
Here are some questions and thoughts to ponder.
To stand in self-trust and power of doing what feels right to you and to not give into the opinions of others takes continuous work against deeply engrained beliefs. It takes trust that it may be time for change and that an identity you held onto for so long feels too tight and constricting. It takes continuous self-permission to allow the expression of the new identity. The best thing about this is that you don’t need to create a new identity, you simply allow it to express itself.
Always remember that people who truly matter and want to see you happy and successful will always support you doing something wonderful, enriching, and purposeful for yourself.