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True Self vs Conditioned Self

9/8/2022

 
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In moments of clarity, presence, and empowerment, we remember that we want more for ourselves. We don’t force this, it arises naturally. In those moments, we feel connected to a deep self-determination and desire to move forward. We become free from the limitations of our past, even if just for a moment.

In those moments, we feel free from shame and self-criticism. We stop defining ourselves by our limitations and instead allow ourselves to see a possibility of all we could be, do, and experience. We are in our true self. 

When we’re in this place, we support ourselves to dream big, create, be inspired, curious, compassionate, energized, and connected. We may decide that the way we currently live our life doesn’t fit us anymore. Maybe we set big goals and make promises to ourselves.

Also naturally, we disconnect from those moments, and go back to our usual ways of living that feel familiar and comfortable, yet constricting. Our conditioned self returns.

Maybe it doesn’t yet feel safe to be in the moments of presence and connection for too long. In these moments our conditioned self may tell us that those desires we felt so connected to in one moment, aren’t possible, or that they don’t happen to people like us, or that we are broken, or that we will fail because we failed in the past.

Our conditioned self is fearful of change and growth.

It wants to bring us back to the state of fear and complacency. That voice may sound like a voice of reason and it may be too loud to ignore. That voice will fight for our limitations and will want us to rebel against the promises we made to ourselves when we felt empowered.

In these moments, we have to remind that voice:

I’m doing this for me.
I’m choosing what supports me.
My true desires are coming from self-love. 
​It is safe and healthy to want more. 



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Sladja Redner, MA, LPC, Certified NARM Therapist, Certified Life Coach 
  


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  • Welcome
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    • PSYCHOTHERAPY
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    • RATES
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  • MORE
    • CONTACT
    • Journal
    • About me