We often believe that being hard on ourselves is the only way we can get to where we want to be. We think that if we loosen the grip, everything we worked hard for will crumble, and we will no longer be motivated. When you use the strategy of self-judgment, you can accomplish goals, but internally you will be in the same place. Your identity will still be wrapped up in self-judgment and shame. If you can learn how to pause when you first notice self-judgment, you are already starting to detach from it. When a part of you is able to be aware of it and observe it, you are not fused with it. From that place, being curious, compassionate, and understanding can arise. From a place of curiosity you will notice that it is not true that we need to push, pressure, and judge ourselves into progress. We are naturally growth oriented. Our true selves want to grow and fully express our capacities. We are the ones who are stopping that with our judgments. Get out of your own way. Major shifts and transformations don’t happen overnight. They are a result of consistent actions that don’t feel groundbreaking in the moment, but when repeated over time, change your life.
The small things you do daily - matter. They only seem small and insignificant in the moment, but over time, it’s that small, consistent action that creates a shift, not something that’s done once in a while. Once you start paying attention to daily thoughts and actions that create your experience, you can practice being more deliberate about them. You may choose to not engage with every thought that comes your way, you may ask yourself why you do what you do, you may pay attention how you feel most of the time, and what lead up to that feeling. “It doesn’t matter if the steps you’re taking are small or large it matters if you’re having fun.” This was the message that resonated with me as I listened to Abraham Hicks this morning. We can push ourself to get to where we ‘think we should be’ but we will be depleted once we get there. The whole reason why we want to be in a different place is because we think we’ll feel more happiness, joy, success, etc. once we get there. But… If we’re having fun along the way, we don’t be as pressured to get there, because here is fun too. Stay longer in the excitement of the possibilities than in the limitations of the present. Your current situation is not forever. Don’t let it minimize your excitement for the possibilities.
Future hasn’t happened yet and that means you get to create it on your terms Ask yourself more if you want to
rather than if you should. Give yourself a choice. Many obligations are self-imposed by our own *shoulds* that are guided by fears. If you weren’t worried about pleasing others and doing things because you believe you should, what would you stop doing? How would things change if you ask yourself more often: What do *I* want? |
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April 2024
AuthorSladja Redner |