We often believe that being hard on ourselves is the only way we can get to where we want to be. We think that if we loosen the grip, everything we worked hard for will crumble, and we will no longer be motivated.
When you use the strategy of self-judgment, you can accomplish goals, but internally you will be in the same place. Your identity will still be wrapped up in self-judgment and shame.
If you can learn how to pause when you first notice self-judgment, you are already starting to detach from it.
When a part of you is able to be aware of it and observe it, you are not fused with it. From that place, being curious, compassionate, and understanding can arise.
From a place of curiosity you will notice that it is not true that we need to push, pressure, and judge ourselves into progress.
We are naturally growth oriented. Our true selves want to grow and fully express our capacities. We are the ones who are stopping that with our judgments. Get out of your own way.