Throughout the day, we have so many opportunities to drift away from our center - from who we are, what we value, desire, and need. We are constantly met by other people's thoughts, opinions, suggestions, and directives that can move us further and further away from who we are. We are told how we should be, what we should think, what we should eat, how we should spend our time, what we should strive for, what to be insulted by, and so on... And once we're pulled from our center, it takes a lot of effort to come back to it and put our anchor down. What makes coming back to the center easier is knowing what it feels like once we are centered. Questions to reflect on:
Sometimes the desire to annihilate parts of ourselves is disguised under the idea of healing. But healing doesn't mean to eradicate parts we see as bad, shameful, or unlovable. Healing includes acknowledging that those parts emerged out of necessity and protection at the time we didn't have other choices AND that we no longer need them in the same capacity as we did in the past. So instead of putting our efforts towards hiding, fixing, or removing those parts, we get to understand them and create a less dependent relationship to them. We tend to feel lost when we find ourselves in places we haven't been before. Whether we're trying to embrace a different state of mind or we're leaving a place of comfort, novelty tends to feel scary, like it's something we need protection from. And when we feel lost, we tell ourselves "This is a problem - I shouldn't feel this way."
When thinking about my guiding word for the new year, I usually go with a feeling I want to invite or experience more often. But a word that kept spontaneously coming up for me was - less. And the longer I sat with it, the more it spoke to me. Less of what? Less commitments that create busyness but leave me feeling exhausted and unfulfilled. Less things that fill up my space, but don’t bring me joy. Less obligations that fill up my calendar but make me feel drained. Just less…. When we engage in therapy, we are encouraged to open up and share our thoughts and feelings.
However, there are moments when we struggle to find the right words or fear the vulnerability that comes with sharing certain experiences. Sometimes, our silence stems from a fear of judgment or rejection. We may hesitate to voice our true thoughts because we worry about the consequences or how others might perceive us. Check in with yourself:
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April 2024
AuthorSladja Redner |