Lately I’ve been reflecting on a concept we talked about in my life coach training: “There is not better than here.”
To me this is a reminder that no matter what we accomplish in life, we will experience sadness, pain, grief, desire, etc… We have these imaginary arrival points where we think we will transcend struggle or discomfort or growth. But I think these are our companions for the rest of our life, to some degree, and that is ok. So when I’m impatient to get ‘there’ (whatever ‘there’ is at a different period of my life) I try to remember that getting ‘there’ doesn’t mean everything will be better, it will just be different.* We are not meant to live in states of overwhelm, anxiety, and lethargy. We are meant to grow, learn, and evolve through our challenges, not be defeated by them. We naturally long for playfulness, ease, connection, and meaning. Our desire for these experiences is not to be judged, dismissed, or ignored, but honored and followed. If you notice that you live daily in states of anxiety, overwhelm, stress, lethargy, depression, etc. consider finding professional help. Your mind, body, and soul want to free themselves from these energy sucking states and want to soar into a more fun and relaxed way of living. Just because things could be worse, doesn’t mean you need to wait for a crisis to change what’s no longer working. Over time, parts we don’t like about our life and habits that are draining our energy become tolerable. Instead of using our time to change what we don’t like, we use the time to learn how to tolerate, cope with, and manage them. We comfort ourselves by saying “it’s not that bad” and “it could be worse.” And yes, things could always be worse, but why wait for a crisis to change something that’s not working now? When we’re in a crisis mode, we don’t have the energy and emotional stamina to approach problems in a productive way. So don’t wait until you have no choice but to change. Honor the part of you that wants more out of life now. Working with a professional can be crucial because we can’t fully see ways in which we keep ourselves stuck and we can’t identify our own painful stories because we’re too attached to them. I would love to help! Check out my psychotherapy and coaching pages, or book a session and experience the power of coaching! Last Friday I attended the annual Women's Summit, sponsored by Kendra Scott Women's Entrepreneurial and Leadership Institute. Day was filled with inspirational and motivational speeches by incredible women. Here are the biggest nuggets of wisdom I took from 2023 Women’s Summit:
Oh and did I mention that I met a powerhouse Kendra Scott and gifted her my Returning to Yourself guided journal? That happened! Check! :) You may never grow and change in someone else’s mind. People may not want to give up the opinion they have of you. In their mind, you may always remain a one-dimensional character.
Once someone thinks they know you, they may never change their mind. Everything you say or do may be filtered through a well established opinion they have of you. It’s not your job to change their mind. You don’t need to prove anything to anybody. What matters is whether you let yourself be who you want to be. What matters is that you don’t reduce yourself to one trait, one mistake, one opinion, or one interest. You can be so many different things at the same time. If you found this helpful, you may enjoy What Will People Think? blog post. |
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April 2024
AuthorSladja Redner |