As soon as we start believing we know everything about ourselves, we stop learning.
Self-inquiry, curiosity, open-mindedness are some of the most powerful tools for healing and growth, because they challenge our assumptions and rigid beliefs we hold about ourselves - often beliefs that are misguiding us.
When we don’t question our beliefs and whether they are truly ours, we mistake them for truths about who we really are and we lose the opportunity to surprise ourselves.
But these beliefs are never who we are, they are learned as a response to deep wounding.
No matter what kind of wounds have been inflicted upon us in the past, our wise, authentic, curious, and compassionate self is always there because that IS who we are. It is merely overshadowed by the hurtful beliefs.
In the moments of pause, reflection, and curiosity, we are able to connect to a choice between living and responding from our wounds or our wisdom.
Our imagination is so much more powerful than our reality. By imagining something that's not real, we create real feelings in the present moment. Let's say you imagine a future outcome not going your way, or if you think about an uncomfortable memory that took place at some point, you will start to evoke feelings as if that event is happening in the present moment.
Any feelings we evoke by imagining, either positive or negative situations, are real.
The same goes for something that's wanted, something that you desire. So when you imagine desired outcome or an experience that you really want to manifest in your life, you're going to start creating those feelings that will match that event you’re imagining.
By knowing how powerful our imagination is , you can be intentional about where you let your mind focus.
How To Be Confident
When it comes to tips on confidence, you've probably heard of the good old advice to "fake till you make it."
This requires you to will yourself into it and pretend that you feel something you don't really feel. I'm not saying this is a bad advice as it may work for some people.
But what if all this focusing on wanting to be more confident keeps you in the constant search of it? That search perpetuates the belief that you don't have it, because we only search for what we lack.
I believe there is something more powerful and important than confidence, and that is desire.
The key to being more confident is to stop focusing so hard on confidence (or lack thereof) and focus on something within you that already exists, and that is, desire. The strength of your desire will always trump the lack of confidence.
Think about the times in your life you did something bold, scary, or uncertain. Did you always feel confident? Probably not! But you still did it. Why? Because your desire was so much stronger than your fear or insecurity that it didn’t matter if you did it scared.
If you are in a place where you’re waiting around to feel more confident or you feel like you're holding yourself back because you think you need to be more confident fist, I invite to stop focusing on confidence and instead start focusing on your desire.
Really think about what is it that you want and why you want it?
Let that lead you. Really let yourself connect to the feeling of bringing that desire into reality.
Want to read more posts about desire? Check out this post!
How We Give Our Power Away
A subtle way in which we give our power away is by imagining that others are thinking about us and judging us, and then making decisions based on these imagined judgments.
Most of the time, these imagined judgments only exist in our minds. We are the ones thinking them, not others!
We never truly know what and if others are thinking about us, but let’s say they do. We have a choice whether to make decisions based on their opinions.
We can separate their (potential or actual) opinions and check in with ourselves:
“What do I think?”
“Can I let them be wrong?”
“Whose opinion really matters to me?”