Words are extremely powerful. Words we use to define ourselves, others, our actions, relationships, and circumstances reveal a great deal about our internal world and how we approach life.
 
Even when we believe our words are expressing facts/reality, they mirror our beliefs and our perception of reality.
 
A great example of this is saying: “I have to … (insert your complaint of choice: work, workout, do my homework, pay my bills, go to therapy, eat healthy…”
 
Is it really true that you HAVE to? Or do you CHOOSE to (or want to), because there is some kind of a benefit or consequence behind your choice.
 
You may think that whether we say “have to” or “choose to” is irrelevant. But it’s not.
 
The first one implies no choice and the latter implies free will. It is true that sometimes you have really undesirable choices, but they are still choices.
 
Try it for yourself. Notice how you feel when you tell yourself, “I have to do x, y, z.” Notice the heaviness, the dread, and powerlessness inherent in these words.
 
By replacing “I have to” with “I choose to” you place yourself in the driver seat. Being in the driver’s seat is the only place from which you have the power to affect the course of your life. And that’s freedom lies.

We all have moments or even extended periods of our life we wish we can get back. Now that we are older and wiser, our past choices may seem troublesome and we believe we would now choose differently. The more we dwell on past decisions & non-decisions and the more power we give to them, the more we sleepwalk through life. Our past decisions were based on the knowledge, resources, and experience we had at the time. Give yourself grace and an understanding that you didn't know what you know now and you did your best. Take the lessons, find the compassion for your past self, and start living in the present.
Check in with yourself: 
Am I punishing myself for past events, actions, and choices?
What do I need to let go?
What lessons have I learned?