INner Becoming Blog
Tik Tok “Therapy”: Why Social Media Advice is Not Therapy
While TikTok and Instagram have opened up valuable conversations around mental health, they cannot replace the depth, structure, and safety that therapy offers. Mental health is complex, and it requires professional attention and individualized care. Relying on social media influencers for advice on issues as serious as trauma, anxiety, or depression can be dangerous and ineffective in the long run.
The Self-Improvement trap: When Working on Yourself Isn't Working
Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a never-ending self-improvement cycle, but instead of feeling more at peace with who you are, you keep finding new deficiencies to “work on” and end up feeling worse about yourself?
The Joy of Wasting Time
I have to say that, so far, I'm loving my "year of less." We are only in January and I had a noticeable positive shift as a result of it.
What is complex (developmental) trauma or CPTSD?
Complex or developmental trauma is a type of trauma that occurs over a prolonged period of time, often in childhood, and involves repeated exposure to harmful events. This can include physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence. These types of difficulties and neglectful experiences disrupt natural development and make us adapt to our environment by creating strategies for survival. In a sense, we learn who we need to be in order to survive in our families of origin.
You Should Quit! How Letting go can propel you forward
Quitting is frequently seen as weak and undesirable, but here is a different perspective. Quitting things we've outgrown leaves us with energy available for things we enjoy.
Believe You Can: Overcoming Learned Helplessness
When was the last time you decided to try something for the first time, something you’ve never done before? What is the internal narrative that follows your desire - is it supportive and encouraging, or does something in you decides you shouldn’t even try, because “what’s the point?” If you notice that discouraging voice leading the show most of the time, you might be experiencing learned helplessness.
Post-Traumatic Growth: Thriving from Adversity
Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive psychological changes that can occur in individuals who have experienced a traumatic event. It involves the development of new perspectives, increased appreciation for life, and a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. While not everyone who experiences trauma will experience post-traumatic growth, it's a testament to the human spirit's incredible capacity for resilience.
Letting go of expectations & entitlement
We all have expectations and secret agendas of what we believe should be happening for us. From what we think our morning coffee should taste like (come on, burnt pot!) to how we imagine that big date going down (cue butterflies and fireworks). But here's the thing: expectations can be sneaky little buggers. Sometimes, they set us up for a major disappointment when reality doesn't quite match our perfectly crafted mental picture. We've all been there. The clash between what we expected and what actually happens can leave us feeling frustrated, defeated, self-righteous, and entitled.
Wanting what you have
Gap theory of happiness posits that our unhappiness stems from the discrepancy between our current reality and our idealized version of life. We're always looking outward, focusing on what we don't have: better jobs, more money, more recognition, or simply more free time. When our lives are consumed by this constant pursuit of "what could be," we operate from a place of lack and dissatisfaction.
is it me or is it my circumstances?!
When it comes to navigating life's challenges, our perspective plays a crucial role in how we experience and respond to them. One key aspect of this perspective is our locus of control – the extent to which we believe we have control over our own outcomes. This concept can be divided into two primary categories: internal and external locus of control.
What is my purpose & How do I find it?
Have you ever heard someone say, "Go live your purpose" and wondered, "What is my purpose?" Perhaps you are multi-passionate and have a wide range of interests and “finding” your purpose doesn’t seem like a clear and straight forward task. The concept of purpose can be elusive, ambiguous, and ever-shifting.
5 Mistakes to avoid When Creating New Habits
Creating new habits and shifting old ones can be challenging, but it's definitely achievable with the right approach and mindset. Unfortunately, many people make common mistakes that hinder their progress. Here are five of the most frequent missteps and what to do instead.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome & self-doubt
Feeling like you’re faking your way through a new role and constantly hearing that nagging voice that makes you want to hide? Many of us have found ourself in those self-doubting moments when we question our abilities and achievements. But no matter how big the insecurity is, you can be bigger than it. You don’t have to let the self-doubt swallow you and stop you from engaging in significant, sometimes scary, life-expanding expanding experiences.
Creating a new beginning in the open field of possibilities
I love to think about the sheer openness of each new day. It's like waking up to a blank canvas, a fresh start, a field of endless possibilities. We have the power to plant whatever we want in this fertile ground. It doesn't matter what we planted yesterday or last year; we can start anew today.
Self-Compassion: The Key to Self-Forgiveness, Healing, and Change
Self-compassion can be a difficult but crucial step toward becoming more embodied in our adult selves and overcoming influences of our childhoods. When we hold onto feelings of guilt and shame, on perceived past mistakes, or regret, we can become trapped in a cycle of negative emotions and beliefs that affect our relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
Understanding Therapy Progress: Signs of Positive Change
Sometimes, the most significant progress occurs when things become a little more quiet, less chaotic, and easier to handle. It's noticed in the way we approach new challenges with more resilience and the way we relate to ordinary, everyday experiences with greater ease.
Difficulty is optional
Have you had that experience of things going your way, but then a pesky thought sneaks in and offers a depressing take: "It can't be that easy" or "You're probably not doing it right" or "You must be missing something?"
Making space for the good
Make yourself available for what feels good.
You can’t clutter your days with things that suffocate your peace and expect to feel good.
If you want wholesome, energizing, or peaceful experiences, you have to invite them by making space for them.
In Between
I love change!
I thrive in the forward movement, in the going towards something, anticipating, in being challenged (to the optimal degree:)). But life is not always about moving towards something specific that we made up in our minds.
How to Climb a Mountain
Each one of us is contending with a challenge de jour, our own mountains if you will. And each one of us is uniquely equipped with resources needed to make that climb. Even though most of us at some point experienced the sense that "we're doing it wrong" or that "we're behind," there really is no right way, or the right timing to climb a mountain.