Is It Midlife Crisis or You’re Just Done Pretending?

“When one is pretending, the entire body revolts.” - Anaïs Nin

We don’t talk enough about what it really feels like when you start waking up—not in the spiritual, lofty sense, but in the visceral, unsettling, shake-you-up kind of way. The kind of awakening where you can’t keep overriding your preferences, ignoring your inner voice, or staying in spaces that don’t see you.

A midlife awakening isn’t a crisis—it’s an invitation.

This moment doesn’t always come at a “midlife” age. It might happen at 30. Or 47. Or 61. It’s not about your age—it’s about the accumulation of years spent shaping yourself around other people’s expectations. You may have spent a long time being the strong one, the responsible one, the agreeable one. But one day, something in you just… calls bullshit. And not in a dramatic, external way. It’s quieter than that. It’s the moment you notice how heavy it feels to keep pretending you don’t have needs. Or the moment you realize you’ve been loyal to a version of yourself that never actually felt like home.

We call it a “midlife crisis.” But what if it’s not a crisis at all? What if it’s an awakening to the real you? What if it’s the most honest you’ve ever been?

What you might feeling is not a breakdown, but a beginning of your second life. And like any beginning, it can feel disorienting. You might find yourself questioning your career, your relationships, your routines. You might feel a growing ache to leave behind strategies that once helped you survive but now keep you stuck—like over-functioning, people-pleasing, or constantly proving your worth.

This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about returning to who you were before the conditioning. It’s about finally trusting the intelligence of your preferences—what drains you, what lights you up, what feels like truth in your body. And yes, choosing authenticity will come with its own discomforts. There will be grief in letting go. There will be fear in stepping into the unknown. There may even be guilt when you stop self-abandoning and start saying no more often.

But here’s the thing: your discomfort is not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign that you’re moving out of performance and into truth.

So no, you’re not broken. You’re just done pretending. That’s where real life begins.