The Trap of Labels and Self-Definitions
We are not static. We are a collection of patterns and experiences that are ever shifting.
And yet—we try to pin ourselves down.
We define ourselves with words meant to make things easier to understand. Labels, roles, identities. But the problem is that, as soon as we try to define ourselves, we generalize who we are. We overlook the intricate, contradictory, ever-evolving parts that are also true.
The Problem with Labels and Self-Definitions
Once we define ourselves, we begin to limit ourselves. We get attached to a specific identity or concept about who we are. At first this can be comforting and relieving, but further down the road it can be a limitation when it’s time to grow and shift beyond that specific definition. The next iteration of ourselves may feel trapped under the weight of who we used to be.
Self-Definition Can Become Self-Restriction
The moment we say “this is who I am,” we risk standing on a narrow description that can’t hold all of us. And as time passes, that description may not just become outdated—it may start to feel like a cage, because labels tend to oversimplify. By definition, they compress complexity into simplicity.
But no label, no matter how accurate it once felt, can fully capture the richness of our human experience. And when we define ourselves by something impermanent, we suffer when it no longer fits.
Reflection Questions:
What labels or self-definitions have I outgrown?
Is there a part of me that’s changing—but feels guilty or scared to change because of who I’ve told others I am?
What am I afraid would happen if I let go of a particular identity?
Where do I feel friction between who I’ve been and who I’m becoming?
Can I hold a more fluid sense of self, one that allows for contradiction and evolution?
You’re Allowed to expand the idea of yourself. You’re allowed to grow out of things that once felt like home. You’re allowed to become someone new—without needing to justify why. You don’t have to keep being who you were just because that’s how others learned to relate to you.
Let your definition of self be loose. You are a living, shifting being—with permission to evolve.