When we say we are not good at something, we close the door to trying and learning. Usually when we say things like that, we don’t think too much about it. We consider these narratives to be facts. It seems that we are simply sharing the truth of who we are (It is a fact I’m not good at it.)
But is it really a fact?
It’s not. It’s the way we perceive and choose to define ourselves. I say choose on purpose because I believe we have the agency to decide how we define ourselves. So why define yourself in ways that limit attempts to improve and learn? You, of course, get to decide to keep believing you are not good at something. But if you do, make sure that belief is not sabotaging your attempts to become better.
Instead, I suggest saying: “I’m willing to try.” Having the willingness to try is related to openness and possibility. When we’re willing to try, we are giving ourselves a chance, we are keeping our options open, and we are not limiting our identity.
Most of the time, we won’t be good at something right away, at that is not even the point.
The point is to be willing to try and see where it takes us. The after we try, we might decide to never do it again. But if we stick with it and keep trying, we may learn new things about ourselves. It may give us a new perspective on what we’re capable of and what’s possible when we don’t immediately give up.