I have a vivid memory of the time I said something that, in the past would take me into a full shame and self-judgment spiral. But that time, there was lightness about it. I couldn't stop laughing at myself. I felt that something was different about me. Unlike previous times, I didn't feel like that moment defined me in any way or that it made me flawed or broken. It was just a funny moment. This moment made me think of other ways in which healing and growth shows up internally.
As we heal, we stop using all of our energy to control situations and to protect ourselves from perceived dangers. And the less we do that, we have more energy (life force) to create and connect to experiences that are light and enjoyable. We understand that our ‘mistakes’ don’t make us less worthy, capable, or lovable. We feel free and see choices that previously weren’t obvious to us. What would you add to this list? Have you noticed any similar shifts in yourself? When you authentically want something, the desire in itself is your permission to pursue it. It doesn’t have to be analyzed or explained with logic, because true desire comes from the heart. It doesn’t have to be approved by others because it was meant for you to realize. Consider: What desire would you pursue if you gave yourself permission to do so? You’re not struggling to “be yourself.” You’re struggling because you believe you need to be someone else. Being ourselves becomes difficult when we:
The being part is easy. What’s difficult are the internal pressures and painful stories we tell ourselves. Next time you think you don’t know how to be yourself, notice:
Beliefs that helped us survive will not help us thrive. They will keep us stuck. Any set of beliefs that hold us back and limit our growth, helped us adapt and survive in particular set of circumstances, usually unhealthy, traumatic, and disfunctional environments. But those beliefs are not who we are. They are not truths about us. The truth about who we are is underneath those beliefs, waiting to be discovered and set free. It is for our highest good to let go and shift any beliefs about ourselves that don’t serve our current life. It is for our highest good to decide on purpose what we want to believe about ourselves moving forward. Questions to reflect on:
When your day is over, will you thank yourself for the choices you made today or will you feel like you held yourself back and treated yourself like an enemy?
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April 2024
AuthorSladja Redner |