Any labels you use to define yourself can become constrictions in the future. The problem with defining ourselves by something impermanent, like current circumstances, is that once we are no longer in those circumstances, the label stays, even though it no longer fits. We most notice the constriction of our past self-definitions when we feel called to grow into the next version of ourselves. Some examples of these labels and identities are: being poor, drinking, smoking, being an underachiever, procrastinator, perfectionist, a victim, misfit, and so on. Here are some things to reflect on:
You will not always: know what to do, how to do it, be motivated, believe in yourself, feel confident, think you are capable, be a supportive partner, keep your cool, etc. Instead of forcing yourself into repeating affirmations that you don't believe, your power is in *being willing.* Notice how it feels when you say:
It's the first day of the new year. A great time to decide what you'd like to leave behind and what you'd like to create more of. Here is my suggestion. Leave behind the heaviness of self-judgment, doubt, and pressure. You deserve more from yourself. Give yourself the gift of compassion, self-forgiveness, and a fresh beginning. Give yourself the gift of being your own friend. That will change your life. You can start by:
Be creative and come up with your own strategies to add to this list! Creating an intention sets the tone and guides your decision making. Instead of setting the same ole' goal every year and giving up half way through, try to connect to the overall theme or a feeling you'd like to experience more often in the new year. If you were writing a book chapter or a movie, what would it be called? Give your new year a title and consider what kind of person you would have to be in order to have those types of experiences. What would you have to give up in order to welcome more of what you want? How can you connect to the energy of what you want to welcome and attract? Being awake to life and living it bravely sometimes means we will be faced with difficult things we didn't want or choose. It is simply the fact of life. Bad, uncomfortable, scary, unpredictable things happen. We do, however, have a choice around how we relate to those circumstances and the meaning we give them. And this part that is ours can amplify our pain and suffering or it can ease it. Resisting something we don't want takes energy. So when we give energy to what we don't want, we are strengthening it. If we can be with our pain in a curious, compassionate way, instead of resisting it, it no longer has power over us. It is just there. It is just a feeling to be experienced and information to be taken in, instead of a problem to be solved. Let your feelings and experiences be, don't push them away. Be curious and ask: What message do you (feeling) have for me? What am I invited to learn through this? |
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April 2024
AuthorSladja Redner |