How to Set Goals You Can Actually Achieve
Start by setting experiments, not outcomes.
When you hold goals too tightly, they turn into demands: This has to work. I have to get this right. But when goals are framed as experiments, they become invitations: Let’s see what happens if I try this.
You’re not promising an outcome. You’re committing to participation and when you commit to participation the measure of success changes. Whether you accomplish the result becomes less relevant, and that’s a good thing because it’s not something you control anyways. And paradoxically, that often increases your chances of getting where you want to go - because you’re more present, more responsive, and less locked into one rigid path.
Ask a better question
Instead of asking: What do I want to achieve this year?
Try asking: What am I willing to do differently?
Or:
What am I willing to experiment with?
How am I willing to show up when it’s uncomfortable or unclear?
What kind of energy do I want to bring into the process?
How do I want to feel while I’m moving toward this - not just when I “get there”?
A gentle reframe for the year ahead
You can still have desires. You can still want more, different, better, just don’t confuse the destination with the work.
Let your outcomes you desire guide you - but let your goals be actions you can stand behind, even if the path winds, changes, or surprises you.
That’s setting goals that actually meet you where you are and move you forward from there.
Reflection Questions
What outcome am I currently calling a “goal”?
If I strip it down, what part of this is actually outside my control?
2. If this outcome were a direction rather than a destination, what would I be willing to do to move toward it?
What’s one action, habit, or experiment that feels honest and doable?
What am I willing to try differently this year, even if I don’t know where it will lead?
Where could curiosity replace certainty?
How do I want to feel while I’m working toward this - not just if or when it happens?
What kind of energy do I want to bring into the process?
If success weren’t measured by results alone, how would I know I was showing up well?
What would “being in integrity with myself” look like here?