INner Becoming Blog

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If You’re Not Cheerful, You’re Normal

Invitations to be grateful and spread holiday cheer are plentiful. We’re told that this season is all about connection, joy, giving thanks, and definitely giving gifts because do you even care unless you spend money?! But for so many, the holiday season is one not filled with connection, gratitude, and joy; rather, it’s a reminder of loneliness, lack of close connections, and unfulfilled desires. So, if you’re not feeling all warm, fuzzy, and jolly—welcome to living a full life. You are normal!

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Do You Matter to Yourself? A reflection on Self-Worth

Being important to yourself is not about turning into a selfish, grandiose prick and neglecting or devaluing others—it’s about valuing yourself enough to make space for your own needs. By recognizing your own self-worth, you’re better equipped to bring your best self to everything you do.

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Remove People From The Pedestal

Have you ever admired someone so much that you believed they had wisdom or power you could never access? When our self-esteem is shaky, it’s so easy to give our power away and put others on a pedestal. Relying too heavily on someone else for guidance can make you feel disempowered. Instead of feeling like the driver of your own life, you may find yourself waiting for their direction. This leads to a sense of passivity, helplessness, and difficulty making decisions without their input.

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Defined by Labels: Beyond Diagnoses and Buzzwords

Labels can feel comforting. They give us a name for our experiences, helping us feel seen and understood. They can even foster community—after all, it’s easier to connect with others when we have shared language for what we’re going through. But here’s the catch: life isn’t as simple as the labels we use.

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FOMO: What, Why, And How?

Back in the day, FOMO was a survival tool. If your tribe was doing something important—hunting, gathering, forming alliances—you had to be there to stay relevant and safe. Fast forward to now, and that instinct has morphed into feeling like you need to be at every event, trying every trend, or keeping up with every social circle. But guess what? Your brain hasn’t caught up with the fact that not attending Rachel’s bottomless mimosa brunch won’t lead to exile.

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What is complex (developmental) trauma or CPTSD?

Complex or developmental trauma is a type of trauma that occurs over a prolonged period of time, often in childhood, and involves repeated exposure to harmful events. This can include physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence. These types of difficulties and neglectful experiences disrupt natural development and make us adapt to our environment by creating strategies for survival. In a sense, we learn who we need to be in order to survive in our families of origin.

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The Art of Saying No: Stop People-Pleasing and Start Prioritizing Yourself

It feels good, in the short term, to get that nod of approval, a “thank you” for your efforts, or avoiding upsetting someone. But here’s the catch: people pleasing isn’t as harmless as it seems. It’s often rooted in fear—fear of rejection, conflict, or simply not being liked. While being considerate is one thing, putting others first all the time can leave you feeling drained, unheard, and resentful.

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The Benefits of Depth and Insight-Oriented Therapy: Embracing Self-Discovery and Growth

Depth and insight-oriented therapy offers a powerful pathway to self-discovery, enabling clients to delve into the layers of their experiences, beliefs, and conditioning. This approach emphasizes overcoming the influences of our past—family dynamics, cultural expectations, and early life experiences—that subtly shape our behaviors and perceptions in the present moment.

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Choosing the Path of Least Resistance: Embracing Ease and Dropping the Struggle

Letting go of the struggle can feel like surrender, but it’s actually an empowered choice. It means we’re attuned to what’s right in front of us, taking the steps that feel grounded in clarity and aligned with our inner needs. It’s a way of honoring ourselves, of giving ourselves the space to breathe and feel at peace with where we are.

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Interrupting the Cycle of Worrying and Spiraling

Worrying, especially when it’s repetitive and unresolved, can feel like we’re doing something productive. It feels like we’re keeping ourselves prepared, looking out for the worst, or being realistic. But here’s the truth: worry on its own doesn’t change anything. We can think through every worst-case scenario, but until we put our thoughts into action, nothing actually shifts in our world.

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The Power of Intention: The Energy Behind Your Actions

Intention is the invisible force that drives our actions. It's the energy, the feeling, the motivation, and the purpose behind what we do. When we act with positive intention, we infuse our actions with positive energy. This positive energy can manifest in countless ways, such as increased motivation, improved relationships, and greater overall well-being.

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Reframing Journaling Resistance: A Simple Guide to Start Today

Journaling is for anyone, it’s easy to start, and you don’t need to have any special skills to get started. If you’re feeling resistance to journaling, it’s normal, but don’t decide ahead of time that you don’t like. Give it a try! Take these reflections as gentle reminders that there’s no perfect way to journal. Whether it’s through a gratitude list, freewriting, or even doodles, a journal is a space just for you—flexible, nonjudgmental, and supportive.

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Practicing Attunement and Quieting the Mind

When our minds are constantly racing, it can lead to increased stress and anxiety. Quieting the mind can help alleviate these negative emotions. Additionally, by reducing mental clutter, we can enhance our ability to focus on experiences that matter to us instead of living on autopilot. A quiet mind is also a fertile ground for creativity and connection to ourselves. When we're not constantly distracted by thoughts, we can tap into our inner wellspring of creativity.

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Creating New Stories, on Purpose

For most of us, discouraging ourselves and believing disempowering stories about who we are and what we’re capable of comes easier than building ourselves up! We swiftly talk ourselves out of following our heart’s desires and giving ourselves a chance at something new. We give too much power to the voice that says; “What’s the point?,” “Why bother?,” “It’s gonna take too long,” “You’re too old for that,” or “That’s a stupid idea.”

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Believe You Can: Overcoming Learned Helplessness

When was the last time you decided to try something for the first time, something you’ve never done before? What is the internal narrative that follows your desire - is it supportive and encouraging, or does something in you decides you shouldn’t even try, because “what’s the point?” If you notice that discouraging voice leading the show most of the time, you might be experiencing learned helplessness.

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Tik Tok “Therapy”: Why Social Media Advice is Not Therapy

While TikTok and Instagram have opened up valuable conversations around mental health, they cannot replace the depth, structure, and safety that therapy offers. Mental health is complex, and it requires professional attention and individualized care. Relying on social media influencers for advice on issues as serious as trauma, anxiety, or depression can be dangerous and ineffective in the long run.

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Post-Traumatic Growth: Thriving from Adversity

Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive psychological changes that can occur in individuals who have experienced a traumatic event. It involves the development of new perspectives, increased appreciation for life, and a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. While not everyone who experiences trauma will experience post-traumatic growth, it's a testament to the human spirit's incredible capacity for resilience.

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Letting go of expectations & entitlement

We all have expectations and secret agendas of what we believe should be happening for us. From what we think our morning coffee should taste like (come on, burnt pot!) to how we imagine that big date going down (cue butterflies and fireworks). But here's the thing: expectations can be sneaky little buggers. Sometimes, they set us up for a major disappointment when reality doesn't quite match our perfectly crafted mental picture. We've all been there. The clash between what we expected and what actually happens can leave us feeling frustrated, defeated, self-righteous, and entitled.

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Wanting what you have

Gap theory of happiness posits that our unhappiness stems from the discrepancy between our current reality and our idealized version of life. We're always looking outward, focusing on what we don't have: better jobs, more money, more recognition, or simply more free time. When our lives are consumed by this constant pursuit of "what could be," we operate from a place of lack and dissatisfaction.

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