InneR Becoming Blog

What is complex (developmental) trauma or CPTSD?

Complex or developmental trauma is a type of trauma that occurs over a prolonged period of time, often in childhood, and involves repeated exposure to harmful events. This can include physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence. These types of difficulties and neglectful experiences disrupt natural development and make us adapt to our environment by creating strategies for survival. In a sense, we learn who we need to be in order to survive in our families of origin.

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The Art of Saying No: Stop People-Pleasing and Start Prioritizing Yourself

It feels good, in the short term, to get that nod of approval, a “thank you” for your efforts, or avoiding upsetting someone. But here’s the catch: people pleasing isn’t as harmless as it seems. It’s often rooted in fear—fear of rejection, conflict, or simply not being liked. While being considerate is one thing, putting others first all the time can leave you feeling drained, unheard, and resentful.

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The Benefits of Depth and Insight-Oriented Therapy: Embracing Self-Discovery and Growth

Depth and insight-oriented therapy offers a powerful pathway to self-discovery, enabling clients to delve into the layers of their experiences, beliefs, and conditioning. This approach emphasizes overcoming the influences of our past—family dynamics, cultural expectations, and early life experiences—that subtly shape our behaviors and perceptions in the present moment.

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Choosing the Path of Least Resistance: Embracing Ease and Dropping the Struggle

Letting go of the struggle can feel like surrender, but it’s actually an empowered choice. It means we’re attuned to what’s right in front of us, taking the steps that feel grounded in clarity and aligned with our inner needs. It’s a way of honoring ourselves, of giving ourselves the space to breathe and feel at peace with where we are.

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Interrupting the Cycle of Worrying and Spiraling

Worrying, especially when it’s repetitive and unresolved, can feel like we’re doing something productive. It feels like we’re keeping ourselves prepared, looking out for the worst, or being realistic. But here’s the truth: worry on its own doesn’t change anything. We can think through every worst-case scenario, but until we put our thoughts into action, nothing actually shifts in our world.

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The Power of Intention: The Energy Behind Your Actions

Intention is the invisible force that drives our actions. It's the energy, the feeling, the motivation, and the purpose behind what we do. When we act with positive intention, we infuse our actions with positive energy. This positive energy can manifest in countless ways, such as increased motivation, improved relationships, and greater overall well-being.

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Journaling for Beginners: Overcome Excuses and Get Started

Journaling is for anyone, it’s easy to start, and you don’t need to have any special skills to get started. If you’re feeling resistance to journaling, it’s normal, but don’t decide ahead of time that you don’t like. Give it a try! Take these reflections as gentle reminders that there’s no perfect way to journal. Whether it’s through a gratitude list, freewriting, or even doodles, a journal is a space just for you—flexible, nonjudgmental, and supportive.

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Practicing Attunement and Quieting the Mind

When our minds are constantly racing, it can lead to increased stress and anxiety. Quieting the mind can help alleviate these negative emotions. Additionally, by reducing mental clutter, we can enhance our ability to focus on experiences that matter to us instead of living on autopilot. A quiet mind is also a fertile ground for creativity and connection to ourselves. When we're not constantly distracted by thoughts, we can tap into our inner wellspring of creativity.

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Creating New Stories, on Purpose

For most of us, discouraging ourselves and believing disempowering stories about who we are and what we’re capable of comes easier than building ourselves up! We swiftly talk ourselves out of following our heart’s desires and giving ourselves a chance at something new. We give too much power to the voice that says; “What’s the point?,” “Why bother?,” “It’s gonna take too long,” “You’re too old for that,” or “That’s a stupid idea.”

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Believe You Can: Overcoming Learned Helplessness

When was the last time you decided to try something for the first time, something you’ve never done before? What is the internal narrative that follows your desire - is it supportive and encouraging, or does something in you decides you shouldn’t even try, because “what’s the point?” If you notice that discouraging voice leading the show most of the time, you might be experiencing learned helplessness.

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Tik Tok “Therapy.” Social Media Advice is Not Therapy

While TikTok and Instagram have opened up valuable conversations around mental health, they cannot replace the depth, structure, and safety that therapy offers. Mental health is complex, and it requires professional attention and individualized care. Relying on social media influencers for advice on issues as serious as trauma, anxiety, or depression can be dangerous and ineffective in the long run.

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Post-Traumatic Growth: Thriving from Adversity

Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive psychological changes that can occur in individuals who have experienced a traumatic event. It involves the development of new perspectives, increased appreciation for life, and a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. While not everyone who experiences trauma will experience post-traumatic growth, it's a testament to the human spirit's incredible capacity for resilience.

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Letting go of expectations & entitlement

We all have expectations and secret agendas of what we believe should be happening for us. From what we think our morning coffee should taste like (come on, burnt pot!) to how we imagine that big date going down (cue butterflies and fireworks). But here's the thing: expectations can be sneaky little buggers. Sometimes, they set us up for a major disappointment when reality doesn't quite match our perfectly crafted mental picture. We've all been there. The clash between what we expected and what actually happens can leave us feeling frustrated, defeated, self-righteous, and entitled.

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Wanting What You Have: Learning From Stoics

Gap theory of happiness posits that our unhappiness stems from the discrepancy between our current reality and our idealized version of life. We're always looking outward, focusing on what we don't have: better jobs, more money, more recognition, or simply more free time. When our lives are consumed by this constant pursuit of "what could be," we operate from a place of lack and dissatisfaction.

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is it me or is it my circumstances?!

When it comes to navigating life's challenges, our perspective plays a crucial role in how we experience and respond to them. One key aspect of this perspective is our locus of control – the extent to which we believe we have control over our own outcomes. This concept can be divided into two primary categories: internal and external locus of control.

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What is my purpose & How do I find it?

Have you ever heard someone say, "Go live your purpose" and wondered, "What is my purpose?" Perhaps you are multi-passionate and have a wide range of interests and “finding” your purpose doesn’t seem like a clear and straight forward task. The concept of purpose can be elusive, ambiguous, and ever-shifting.

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5 Mistakes to avoid When Creating New Habits

Creating new habits and shifting old ones can be challenging, but it's definitely achievable with the right approach and mindset. Unfortunately, many people make common mistakes that hinder their progress. Here are five of the most frequent missteps and what to do instead.

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The Self-Improvement trap: When Working on Yourself Isn't Working

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a never-ending self-improvement cycle, but instead of feeling more at peace with who you are, you keep finding new deficiencies to “work on” and end up feeling worse about yourself?

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Connect with Your Higher Self: A Journaling and Visualization Exercise for Clarity

Connecting with your higher self helps you tap into your intuition, bypassing the noise of self-doubt or external pressures. It’s a powerful reminder that the wisdom you seek is already within you—you just need to pause and listen. Whether you’re wrestling with a tough decision, a personal conflict, or a sense of uncertainty, tapping into your higher self can offer a guiding light.

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