Reframing Regret: Journaling Prompts to Integrate Regret And Move Forward

Regret keeps you tethered to what you can’t change. It creates the illusion that if you just think hard enough, you’ll fix what already happened.

We all do it. We look back on old choices — the relationships we stayed in too long, the jobs we didn’t take, the words we wish we hadn’t said, and think, “What was I thinking?”

Regret can feel like an endless replay button, convincing us that our past selves should have known better. But here’s the truth: they didn’t. And they couldn’t.

As Elizabeth Gilbert said, “That was your best thinking at the time.” That version of you was making decisions with the information, experience, and perspective you had back then. From here, with hindsight and growth, of course it’s easy to judge. But that’s not wisdom — that’s self-cruelty.

The Path of Integration

I like to think about our past selves as a necessary part of natural integration — each phase of our life builds upon the last. You couldn’t have skipped who you were then, because that version of you laid the foundation for who you are now. And if you don’t like who you are today, the good news is that you can do something about it now!

Your so-called “mistakes” were never wasted time. They were the very scaffolding that allowed you to grow into the perspective you have today. The decisions you made then were necessary stepping stones — not detours.

From a spiritual lens, nothing is out of place. Even what you wish hadn’t happened was part of the unfolding that got you here. Your past self wasn’t wrong; they were simply carrying you to this present moment.

Change is Only Available Now

Regret has a way of keeping you trapped in your head. You replay scenarios, imagining how you could have acted differently, but all that mental energy is directed backward — toward something that can’t be resolved now.

And while you’re circling the past, you’re not looking at your present life and the choices available to you here. Regret creates the illusion that if you just think hard enough, you’ll fix what already happened. But the truth is, you can only create change by making new choices today.

Often, regret is a signal that you’re ready for a shift — but the shift can’t happen in your memories; it has to happen in your actions. Even if the choices in front of you feel uncomfortable or difficult, they’re the ones that matter. They’re the ones that move your life forward.

From Regret to Integration and Action

Here are some journaling prompts to help reframe regret and integrate your past:

• Spotting the distraction: Where am I looping on regret instead of paying attention to my life right now?

• Regret as a signal: What does my regret reveal about what I truly value today?

• Gratitude for my past self: What decision from my past do I judge most harshly — and how did it actually serve me in some way?

• Reframing mistakes: If I honor that was the best choice I could have made at the time, what changes inside me?

• Trusting the process: How did that past version of me set up the conditions for who I am today?

• Integration lens: What wisdom do I have now that I couldn’t have had then — and how can I honor the bridge between the two?

• Forward energy: Instead of replaying regrets, what decision can I make today that aligns with my current values?

• Now energy: If I imagine pouring the energy I spend on regret into today’s choices, what would I want to do differently this week?

Every version of you, even the one that made choices you wouldn’t make today, was carrying you forward, giving you the perspective you hold now. The real power isn’t in rewriting yesterday, but in reclaiming it through integration and choosing differently today.

So the next time you feel the sting of “I should have known better,” pause. Remember: that was your best thinking at the time. That version of you did their job — they got you here. And from here, you have everything you need to make new choices.