When we approach personal growth from a place of shame and self-judgment, we move further away from its intention and the whole process may start feeling like a self-punishment and a never-ending quest for “improvement.”
Here are a few things to remember:
1. Be patient - there is no place of arrival
2. Find a way to truly enjoy the process
3. Don’t measure your progress by where someone else is
4. A part of you may not want to change - try to understand why
5. You can get to the same place by motivating or criticizing yourself
Whether it's a hobby, a project, a relationship, or a personal goal, the initial excitement often propels us forward with great enthusiasm.
We're brimming with ideas, motivation, and a burning desire to succeed, or sometimes - to not fail.
But as time goes on, we encounter obstacles, distractions, and setbacks, all of which are expected parts of a hero’s journey.
The road gets bumpy, future becomes uncertain, and suddenly, that initial burst of energy seems to fade away.
We find ourselves facing the hard truth: continuing what we started despite the challenges.
Now that is a whole different ballgame.
Why does it have to be so dang difficult to keep going?
Well, my friends, the answer lies in all the boring (non-sexy) stuff no one wants to hear: commitment, discipline, and perseverance.
It's easy to be inspired and that first step, but maintaining the momentum requires consistent effort.
It's in those moments of doubt and weariness that our determination is truly tested.
In those moments, we have to remember the beauty that lies beyond the struggle.
When we push through the tough times, we build character and resilience.
We discover our true strength and learn more about ourselves along the way.
We develop skills and habits that serve us not only in that particular endeavor but also in other aspects of life.
So, if you feel like giving up or find it hard to continue…
… take a deep breath (and/or a break, sometimes you just need a break to see things clearly) and look inward to find that big ‘why’ that matters more than a temporary obstacle.
When we engage in therapy, we are encouraged to open up and share our thoughts and feelings.
However, there are moments when we struggle to find the right words or fear the vulnerability that comes with sharing certain experiences.
Sometimes, our silence stems from a fear of judgment or rejection. We may hesitate to voice our true thoughts because we worry about the consequences or how others might perceive us.
Check in with yourself:
We so often become slaves to our own expectations.
As we change and our life circumstances change, what once gave us motivation and energy may start feeling stale and pointless.
What we chose to work towards years ago, might not have the same appeal now.
We tend to force ourselves to “suck it up” because we’re afraid of feeling like a failure.
But some things (relationships, jobs, identities…) have an expiration date and life is always showing us what is expired, it’s just that our egos don’t want to hear it.
Even if it doesn’t always feel that way, we are the one who set expectations for ourselves and we’re the one who can shift them or let them go.
We have a choice of holding onto the old expectations or reevaluate if what our past self wanted, still brings us fulfillment and meaning.