Just because you’re at a different point in life than someone else, it doesn’t mean that you’re behind or that you’re not making progress.
In those moments when we compare ourselves to others we forget that we had different starting points, different circumstances, families, experiences, opportunities, etc…
When you remember that it’s easier to see how pointless comparison is.
Much more useful use of time is to reflect on whether you are living in alignment with your values and priorities.
We are not meant to live in states of overwhelm, anxiety, and lethargy.
We are meant to grow, learn, and evolve through our challenges, not be defeated by them.
We naturally long for playfulness, ease, connection, and meaning. Our desire for these experiences is not to be judged, dismissed, or ignored, but honored and followed.
If you notice that you live daily in states of anxiety, overwhelm, stress, lethargy, depression, etc. consider finding professional help.
Your mind, body, and soul want to free themselves from these energy sucking states and want to soar into a more fun and relaxed way of living.
Balance doesn't mean we equally give attention to every aspect of our life. It is about knowing what matters to us, and what our needs, values, and priorities are. The below suggestions are based on my personal 'rules' so feel free to take what resonates and adapt them in a way that makes sense to you. Redefining balance is not about forcing yourself to mimic someone else's way of living, but creating your own so it is sustainable with your lifestyle.
1. Start with daily non-negotiables.
These are daily habits that create the foundation for your mental and physical health. I try to prioritize these regardless of how busy or unpredictable other areas of my life are. I look at this as the foundation around which everything is arranged.
2. Spend more time on fulfilling experiences, people, and activities, and spend less time on soul sucking ones.
Knowing what energizes you and what drains you AND intentionally making decisions from this awareness is crucial. Notice your energy levels at different times of the day, around various people, activities, experiences, topics, places, etc.
3. Ask yourself what matters to you in this season.
For example, if I notice a lack of enthusiasm for something I enjoyed doing, or if it feels like I'm forcing myself to pursue a goal I set a while back, I reevaluate whether it still has the same importance to me and if it doesn't, I give myself the option to take a break from it or spend less time on it. Our priorities will shift as we change and evolve.
4. Minimize reliance on coping strategies for immediate relief and satisfaction.
We all have our habitual ways of responding to distress, but coping strategies that are geared towards escaping our experience and quickly feeling better, often leave us feeling worse in the long term or they tend to create an additional problem. Instead, learn how to be with and tolerate distress and seek to find more grounding and creative ways of coping with it.
Just because things could be worse, doesn’t mean you need to wait for a crisis to change what’s no longer working.
Over time, parts we don’t like about our life and habits that are draining our energy become tolerable.
Instead of using our time to change what we don’t like, we use the time to learn how to tolerate, cope with, and manage them.
We comfort ourselves by saying “it’s not that bad” and “it could be worse.” And yes, things could always be worse, but why wait for a crisis to change something that’s not working now?
When we’re in a crisis mode, we don’t have the energy and emotional stamina to approach problems in a productive way.
So don’t wait until you have no choice but to change. Honor the part of you that wants more out of life now.
Working with a professional can be crucial because we can’t fully see ways in which we keep ourselves stuck and we can’t identify our own painful stories because we’re too attached to them.
I would love to help! Check out my psychotherapy and coaching pages, or book a session and experience the power of coaching!