
INner Becoming Blog
Understanding Therapy Progress: Signs of Positive Change
Sometimes, the most significant progress occurs when things become a little more quiet, less chaotic, and easier to handle. It's noticed in the way we approach new challenges with more resilience and the way we relate to ordinary, everyday experiences with greater ease.
Difficulty is optional
Have you had that experience of things going your way, but then a pesky thought sneaks in and offers a depressing take: "It can't be that easy" or "You're probably not doing it right" or "You must be missing something?"
Making space for the good
Make yourself available for what feels good.
You can’t clutter your days with things that suffocate your peace and expect to feel good.
If you want wholesome, energizing, or peaceful experiences, you have to invite them by making space for them.
In Between
I love change!
I thrive in the forward movement, in the going towards something, anticipating, in being challenged (to the optimal degree:)). But life is not always about moving towards something specific that we made up in our minds.
How to Climb a Mountain
Each one of us is contending with a challenge de jour, our own mountains if you will. And each one of us is uniquely equipped with resources needed to make that climb. Even though most of us at some point experienced the sense that "we're doing it wrong" or that "we're behind," there really is no right way, or the right timing to climb a mountain.
A Whole Body Yes!
Think about a time when you made a decision with such ease and clarity that it didn't feel like decision. It felt like the only right option. It aligned with your head, with your body, and with your soul - it was a "whole body yes!" type of response.
Problems Or Ineffective Solutions?
Most of our current problems are solutions our past self came up with when it didn't have more options or resources. Our patterned responses to people, situations, and internal experiences might not be helpful to the person we are today.
When you don't know what to do
"When you don't know what to do - do nothing."
This was the advice that made me take a sigh of relief in a moment when I felt confused, overwhelmed, and couldn't see a path forward. I was swimming in so many different options my mind was offering me. Instead of clarity I felt uncertainty, confusion, and urgency to make a decision.
Inner critic
Our mind can often be like a harsh bully, ready to attack when we feel most vulnerable. It can make us feel weak and powerless.
Our mind follows a familiar script it's been given when we were young. It repeats those voices we heard most often, and will keep speaking to us the same way we were spoken to.
How would a version of you that you aspire to be respond to this challenge?
When our predictable ways of responding to challenges don’t seem aligned with who we want to be, we have the ability to respond differently. When we're caught up in the moment, we don't give ourselves the space and the option to consider a different type of response, but that doesn't mean we are not capable of it.
Learning as you go
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we've never been in before.
In those moments we may feel lost, not having a map to tell us where to go and how to respond.
On being honest with ourselves
Whatever we keep hidden from ourselves stays in the dark and feeds off of shame and secrecy.
Only when we are ready to be honest with ourselves and when we are ready to admit to ourselves the truth, we can invite change.
The burden of chasing our full potential...
In the self-improvement space, it's not unusual to hear people say they want to be the best version of themselves and reach their full potential. But who is that best version of ourselves? Why does it always feels out of reach? What's wrong with this current version? And is this potential everyone demands is so important even reachable?
Forcing what's not working
Don’t get stuck in forcing solutions that don’t work for you. Even if one way of doing things seemed to be life changing for some people, it doesn’t mean it has to work for you. It either does, or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t - it’s ok to move on without incessantly questioning yourself and forcing yourself to fit into a solution that's not meant for you.
On Being Centered
Throughout the day, we have so many opportunities to drift away from our center - from who we are, what we value, desire, and need.
On Healing
Sometimes the desire to annihilate parts of ourselves is disguised under the idea of healing.
On Feeling Lost
We tend to feel lost when we find ourselves in places we haven't been before.
Helping Yourself
No effort to help yourself is ever wasted. The first attempt to help yourself is like planting a seed. Every other attempt to help yourself is like nurturing the seed - giving it conditions to grow and thrive.
My word for 2024
When thinking about my guiding word for the new year, I usually go with a feeling I want to invite or experience more often.
Let go of what you didn't choose.
Sometimes it’s difficult to stop entertaining past possibilities and roads we didn’t take.
It can lead us to so many “what ifs” and “could haves.”
Trust that you made decisions that felt right at the time.
Trust that everything is unfolding as it needs to and at the time it needs to.
Own the choices you made.
Put your energy towards making the best of them.