It all begins with an idea.

My name is Sladja Redner, and I am a psychotherapist and a personal growth coach. Growing up I always felt like an old soul and was deeply moved and inspired by stories of people who overcame adversities and not just found themselves on the other side but were able to completely transform and achieve extraordinary things.

It is our responsibility to believe in ourselves.
 
Sometimes others see a potential in us that we struggle to see.
 
We may see ourselves through the filters of our failures, judgments, and mistakes, but others may see our strength, resilience, and determination.

Negative thoughts are not a problem unless we believe them.
 
On their own, they are powerless, unsubstantiated negative opinions and imaginations.
 
They gain their power when we give them power. When we hold onto them, collect evidence for them, entertain them, and identify with them.

When it becomes difficult, or boring, or challenging, you might notice the urge to negotiate, to give up, or give in...
You might want to convince yourself out of your long-term vision, because of temporary struggles. 

​It's true. When we move forward in life, every new step is unknown and messy. The path in front of us is fraught with uncertainty. But if you can learn how to be grounded within yourself when you're in the midst of the unknown, you can achieve anything. 

​Follow your curiosity, excitement, and pleasure without putting pressure on it to lead somewhere.
 
Thinking too much of where it might take you and how it will turn out is a waste of energy you could have used to do the damn thing.

Sometimes we set goals from a place of pressure or expectation, not from our true desires. If that’s the case, working towards your goals will be fraught with stress and overwhelm, instead of excitement and internal motivation to strive forward. 

New month is a perfect time to re-evaluate our priorities and goals. If there was something you actively worked towards, take the time to assess what worked, what didn't, what you want to keep doing, what you need to let go, or what might be something new you want to try. 

When you start creating new habits that no longer fit into your old lifestyle, you might feel as if you are pretending and faking it.
 
You might be worried about other people’s opinions. You might come up with reasons for why you shouldn’t follow through.

At one point in my life, I truly believed in overnight success. I believed some people were born lucky and special, and everything came easy to them.
 
And I believed I wasn’t one of those people.

​Reaching for something outside of ourselves to make us feel better reinforces the idea that “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” and “something or someone other than me can make it go away” - both of which are recipes for suffering.

Creating a new future and embracing change isn’t possible while being committed to same beliefs that created our current reality.
The more we feed and entertain our possibilities, instead of our perceived limitations, the more inclined we are to take action towards realizing them.

We all have moments or even extended periods of our life we wish we can get back. Now that we are older and wiser, our past choices may seem troublesome and we believe we would now choose differently. The more we dwell on past decisions & non-decisions and the more power we give to them, the more we sleepwalk through life.

Our adult lives are as much about learning and allowing as they are about unlearning and letting go.

So much of our identities and the beliefs we hold were colored by our childhood conditioning and adaptation to our environment.

Living authentically and honoring yourself may involve making decisions others judge or disapprove of.
 

If you don’t know what you want, maybe you haven’t spent enough time with yourself.
 
Self-discovery can start by simply as turning your curiosity inwards. Not to judge, evaluate, or analyze, but to observe and learn.

There’s nothing fake about practicing new beliefs that may not yet feel true.

* The more you practice them, the more they will feel embodied.

* Recently I heard that in order to change negative thoughts, you just need to replace them with the opposite/ positive thought.

If you say things like:
It’s going to be hard
It’ll take a long time
I don’t know how
I shouldn’t…
It’s going to be overwhelming, uncomfortable, scary, etc.
It always ends the same way
I already know that
It’s just who I am
It’s always the same thing
I just can’t seem to…
 
If you say these things to yourself, you already decided.

If you’re not empowered and excited by the fact that you have the freedom to change the course of your life, it’s because you’re scared.
 
Believing we are powerless can be easier than believing we are powerful.