First of all, having a bad day (or days) are part of life for everyone. A bad day can mean falling off track of a good habit you’ve been working on creating, feeling unmotivated, sad, resorting to using unhelpful coping skills, feeling melancholic, not feeling like yourself, moodiness, anger… or whatever else it is for you.
But, it’s important to know the difference between intentionally giving yourself a break (understanding that it’s ok to not be ok) and unintentionally being pulled into identifying with your feelings day after day, to the point where you are struggling to get out of the cycle and back on track .
If your bad day is tied to a specific event or non-event (something that should have happened but didn’t), having an easy strategy will help you not get sucked into the negative thoughts and feelings that will further fuel your fear, feelings of failure, disappointment, and self-judgment.
When you can’t access the motivation from within, the key is to find it outside of yourself!
First, check in with yourself: what do I need the most right now?
Second, what is the best way to go about getting that?
Third, thinking ahead will be crucial for successfully implementing the first two steps.
Take it easy on yourself, don’t throw away the good days and progress you made for a few shitty days. Embrace them, make space for them in a way that feels right to you and then notice when it’s time to leave them behind.
Since I discussed the reasons why I believe most resolutions fail, I thought it would be fair to add how I go about that. Writing down goals leads to a stronger likelihood they will be accomplished, and with that in mind, I always have two lists: yearly goals and life goals (talked about it here in my Instagram video). Yearly goals are self-explanatory – it is all the things that I wish to achieve, experience, and be a part of in the upcoming year. Whenever a new goal comes up for me, I add it to my list. This helps me with keeping myself accountable and being intentional about taking charge of things in my life that are in my control. The life goals list is sort of a dream list (or a bucket list) of all the experiences and things I’d love to have and experience at one point in my life. Keeping my desires and goals on the forefront of my mind is important to me as I want to lead a fulfilling and rich life, filled with adventure, joy, and meaning. I don’t want to sleepwalk through my life, which can easily happen if we don’t make decisions and let circumstances dictate what happens next.
Goals aside, I do have an intention that I chose to help guide me through the year. This year, it is to be more courageous. In 2020, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone A LOT! This year I want to expand that growth and focus on cultivating and embodying the value of courage. So, this year I will keep asking myself: How can I be more courageous in my life?
This question will be my guide throughout this year. I love questions because they can be so powerful, especially if we are willing to hear the answers. They require us to be creative, think outside of our conventional ways, and hear what arises from within, even if don’t like the answers.
My personal aspiration/intention/resolution, whatever you want to call it, for this year is to be BOLD & COURAGEOUS. This means that I will rely on the question above to guide me when:
I’ve thought about this a lot. I truly believe that my purpose and mission in life is to transcend my own limitations, break old generational patterns, and live a bold life beyond what I ever thought would be possible for me. AND to help and inspire others who want the same for themselves, who long to stop settling, and who want more from life.
I believe that if I am not brave in my life, I can’t inspire others to be brave in theirs. I know that if I’m hiding myself, I can’t show others what it’s like to be authentic. If I am settling and abandoning my desires and ambitions, can I really tell someone else to dream big and that anything is possible for them?
To me, what courage really means is being my true, authentic self, discovering parts of me that I abandoned or felt unsafe to show, and trusting myself. This sounds easier than it actually is. We become conditioned by our circumstances in so many ways. This can be particularly difficult for those of us who weren’t encouraged to trust ourselves, who learned to hide, not have many needs, and rely on others to give them, tell them, and show them how to live.
In order to unlearn these ways and become free of this conditioning, we must wake up to our own life and ask ourselves: Did I choose this, and do I want to keep choosing it? Am I living my life, or do I feel more like a character in someone else’s story? How can I claim back the power over my own life?
I know this is a journey and there is always something new to uncover and learn (which makes it exciting). I want to be fully awake for my life with everything it has to offer. Who’s with me?