“He who looks at himself, risks to meet himself. The mirror does not flatter, it shows accurately what is reflected in it, namely that face that we never show the world because we hide the persona, the mask of the actor. This is the first test of courage on the inner path, a test, which is enough to frighten most people, because the encounter with oneself belongs to those unpleasant things, one avoids as long as one can project the negative onto the environment.” Carl Jung
DIFFICULT CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES
Many of the issues I work with tend to be rooted in difficult childhood experiences, such as childhood emotional neglect & developmental trauma.
Developmental Trauma does not only refer to one time, traumatic event, but it also includes: rejection, constant criticism, invalidation, rarely feeling understood, important, and valued, or experiencing family dynamics in which you felt more like a parent than a child.
If you grew up with overly critical, cold, or disinterested parents, not having your needs met, being constantly dismissed, belittled, or ignored, or made feel small and unimportant, you learned to adapt in the best ways you could at the time.
Childhood Emotional Neglect refers to events that didn't happen, but should have, such as being emotionally attuned to as a child. This is often difficult for people to grasp because one can't remember events that didn't take place. It is essentially a "is a parent’s failure to respond enough to the child’s emotional needs." (Dr. Jonice Webb). On the Educational Resources page, you can find a link to a questionnaire.
Developmental Trauma does not only refer to one time, traumatic event, but it also includes: rejection, constant criticism, invalidation, rarely feeling understood, important, and valued, or experiencing family dynamics in which you felt more like a parent than a child.
If you grew up with overly critical, cold, or disinterested parents, not having your needs met, being constantly dismissed, belittled, or ignored, or made feel small and unimportant, you learned to adapt in the best ways you could at the time.
Childhood Emotional Neglect refers to events that didn't happen, but should have, such as being emotionally attuned to as a child. This is often difficult for people to grasp because one can't remember events that didn't take place. It is essentially a "is a parent’s failure to respond enough to the child’s emotional needs." (Dr. Jonice Webb). On the Educational Resources page, you can find a link to a questionnaire.
Through these experiences you learn ways of disconnecting from your true self and from your needs, dim your light, abandon yourself, and learn who you need to become in order to be accepted and loved.
Later in life, this disconnection resurfaces in some of the following ways:
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~ Hypervigilance & overwhelm ~ Feeling unworthy & broken ~ Perfectionism tendencies ~ Turbulent relationships ~ Relying on others for guidance |
~ Negative self-image & insecurity ~ Self-doubt & self-criticism ~ Feeling empty or stuck in the past ~ Feeling directionless & lost ~ Restlessness & inability to relax |