“He who looks at himself, risks to meet himself.This is the first test of courage on the inner path, a test, which is enough to frighten most people, because the encounter with oneself belongs to those unpleasant things, one avoids as long as one can project the negative onto the environment.”
~ Carl Jung
DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA
Many of the issues I work with tend to be rooted in growing up in disfunctional families, and having experienced childhood emotional neglect & developmental trauma.
Developmental trauma does not only refer to one time, traumatic event, but it also includes: rejection, constant criticism, invalidation, rarely feeling understood, important, and valued, or experiencing family dynamics in which you felt more like a parent than a child.
If you grew up with overly critical, cold, emotionally abusive or neglectful parents, not having your needs met, being constantly dismissed, belittled, or ignored, or made feel small and unimportant, you learned to adapt in the best ways you could at the time.
Although life saving in childhood, these adaptations create constrictions that get in a ways of self-trust, fulfillment, and authenticity in our adult lives.
Developmental trauma does not only refer to one time, traumatic event, but it also includes: rejection, constant criticism, invalidation, rarely feeling understood, important, and valued, or experiencing family dynamics in which you felt more like a parent than a child.
If you grew up with overly critical, cold, emotionally abusive or neglectful parents, not having your needs met, being constantly dismissed, belittled, or ignored, or made feel small and unimportant, you learned to adapt in the best ways you could at the time.
Although life saving in childhood, these adaptations create constrictions that get in a ways of self-trust, fulfillment, and authenticity in our adult lives.
Through difficult experiences you learn ways of disconnecting from your true self, dim your light, abandon yourself, and learn who you need to become in order to be accepted and loved.
Later in life, this disconnection resurfaces in some of the following ways:
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~ Hypervigilance & overwhelm
~ Feeling unworthy & broken ~ Perfectionism tendencies ~ Turbulent relationships ~ Relying on others for guidance ~ Negative self-image & insecurity ~ Self-doubt & self-criticism ~ Feeling somehow different from others ~ Restlessness & inability to relax |