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​Do you HAVE to or do you CHOOSE to?

11/26/2021

 
Words are extremely powerful. Words we use to define ourselves, others, our actions, relationships, and circumstances reveal a great deal about our internal world and how we approach life.
 
Even when we believe our words are expressing facts/reality, they mirror our beliefs and our perception of reality.
 
A great example of this is saying: “I have to … (insert your complaint of choice: work, workout, do my homework, pay my bills, go to therapy, eat healthy…”
 
Is it really true that you HAVE to? Or do you CHOOSE to (or want to), because there is some kind of a benefit or consequence behind your choice.
 
You may think that whether we say “have to” or “choose to” is irrelevant. But it’s not.
 
The first one implies no choice and the latter implies free will. It is true that sometimes you have really undesirable choices, but they are still choices.
 
Try it for yourself. Notice how you feel when you tell yourself, “I have to do x, y, z.” Notice the heaviness, the dread, and powerlessness inherent in these words.
 
By replacing “I have to” with “I choose to” you place yourself in the driver seat. Being in the driver’s seat is the only place from which you have the power to affect the course of your life. And that’s freedom lies.

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Sladja Redner, MA, LPC, Certified NARM Therapist, Certified Life Coach 
  


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  • Welcome
  • Therapy
    • PSYCHOTHERAPY
    • Complex Trauma Healing
    • RATES
  • Coaching
    • Personal Growth Coaching
    • RATES
  • Blog
  • MORE
    • CONTACT
    • Journal
    • About me