Since I discussed the reasons why I believe most resolutions fail, I thought it would be fair to add how I go about that. Writing down goals leads to a stronger likelihood they will be accomplished, and with that in mind, I always have two lists: yearly goals and life goals (talked about it here in my Instagram video). Yearly goals are self-explanatory – it is all the things that I wish to achieve, experience, and be a part of in the upcoming year. Whenever a new goal comes up for me, I add it to my list. This helps me with keeping myself accountable and being intentional about taking charge of things in my life that are in my control. The life goals list is sort of a dream list (or a bucket list) of all the experiences and things I’d love to have and experience at one point in my life. Keeping my desires and goals on the forefront of my mind is important to me as I want to lead a fulfilling and rich life, filled with adventure, joy, and meaning. I don’t want to sleepwalk through my life, which can easily happen if we don’t make decisions and let circumstances dictate what happens next.
Goals aside, I do have an intention that I chose to help guide me through the year. This year, it is to be more courageous. In 2020, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone A LOT! This year I want to expand that growth and focus on cultivating and embodying the value of courage. So, this year I will keep asking myself: How can I be more courageous in my life?
This question will be my guide throughout this year. I love questions because they can be so powerful, especially if we are willing to hear the answers. They require us to be creative, think outside of our conventional ways, and hear what arises from within, even if don’t like the answers.
My personal aspiration/intention/resolution, whatever you want to call it, for this year is to be BOLD & COURAGEOUS. This means that I will rely on the question above to guide me when:
I’ve thought about this a lot. I truly believe that my purpose and mission in life is to transcend my own limitations, break old generational patterns, and live a bold life beyond what I ever thought would be possible for me. AND to help and inspire others who want the same for themselves, who long to stop settling, and who want more from life.
I believe that if I am not brave in my life, I can’t inspire others to be brave in theirs. I know that if I’m hiding myself, I can’t show others what it’s like to be authentic. If I am settling and abandoning my desires and ambitions, can I really tell someone else to dream big and that anything is possible for them?
To me, what courage really means is being my true, authentic self, discovering parts of me that I abandoned or felt unsafe to show, and trusting myself. This sounds easier than it actually is. We become conditioned by our circumstances in so many ways. This can be particularly difficult for those of us who weren’t encouraged to trust ourselves, who learned to hide, not have many needs, and rely on others to give them, tell them, and show them how to live.
In order to unlearn these ways and become free of this conditioning, we must wake up to our own life and ask ourselves: Did I choose this, and do I want to keep choosing it? Am I living my life, or do I feel more like a character in someone else’s story? How can I claim back the power over my own life?
I know this is a journey and there is always something new to uncover and learn (which makes it exciting). I want to be fully awake for my life with everything it has to offer. Who’s with me?
I love my mornings! It’s my favorite time of the day! I love its quietness, peace, and the possibilities inherent in the beginning of a new day. Mornings for me represent an opportunity, a new chance to hope, plan, reflect, and create intention about the day ahead of me.
This wasn’t always the case.
Over the course of the years, when my life was unpredictable and directionless, I was always rushed, mindlessly going through the motions, daydreaming of being in a different life, while doing the same thing over and over again. The last thing I wanted to do is to be present and allow myself to acknowledge my anxiety and fear about the future. It was easier to push those experiences down and not feel any of the feelings.
When I worked on cruise ship, I lived in a tiny room with two bunkbeds. Of course, this meant having to engage with another person as soon as you open your eyes (introvert’s worst nightmare!). At that time, my morning routine included smoking a cigarette while feeling anxious about the day ahead. It set the tone for the entire day and my life at the time.
It’s not to say I did not have a lot of wonderful experiences and fun memories during that time in my life. I had an opportunity to travel to the most beautiful places in the world and work with people from around the world. But I rarely noticed and cherished them as they happened, never slowed down enough to appreciate and be grateful for those moments, experiences, and people.
The big shift for me happened during my undergrad studies during my mindfulness course.
I learned about the power of being present and intentional. Over time I developed a morning routine and having a quiet time for myself was a game changer. Currently, my mornings include meditation, journaling, setting my intention for the day, spending time on visualization, and after that, a workout. And of course, I drink my coffee for a looooooong time… However, I do not like to be rigid with my routine, so if there is something that is needing my attention, like a creative idea, I try to go with it and give it my time.
Why is this important, you may ask?
When we quiet down and tune out the noise around us, we have no choice but to hear what is going on inside. When we are sad, hopeless, plagued by pain, resentment, anxiety, self-criticism, shame, or any other painful experiences and thoughts, slowing down and being quiet is going to be difficult because it amplifies those experiences. It is like a mirror in front of you reflecting everything as it is, with no distortion. We will want to push it away and ignore it; we will want to be busy, and we may find comfort in the noise, chaos, and constant doing. We will desperately want to pretend that what we don’t like about ourselves and about our life isn’t real, and we will want to silence that inner voice and feeling that comes up to tell us that something isn’t right.
Can you benefit from having a morning routine?
If you’re rushing from one thing to the next most of the time and not feeling like you choose how you spend your time, if it frequently feels like you’re not in charge of your life, if you feel like you’re constantly avoiding problems and it feels as if things are out of your control, then having alone time is essential. Setting your intention and creating purpose early in the day will make a big difference in how you show up in your life.
This is a great way to start creating a healthy sense of responsibility for your life.
You will be able to decide where to focus your time, you will be able engage in tasks, people, and thoughts that will propel you to have a sense of control over your life, one day at a time. Over time you will realize you are not merely a bystander in your life watching things unfold. Maybe at some point this was the case, but now, you get to decide what role you want to play in your life.
Fully lived life is not free of pain and difficulty.
You will experience events that are out of your control. But you will have the opportunity to choose how you respond to the things coming your way (the things you CAN control) instead of reacting on autopilot.
Things you can spend time in the morning to connect to yourself and be still:
You might think “Who has time for that?!” or “I’m not a morning person,” or “I have kids that I need to keep alive.” Sure, those are valid reasons, but see if there is even one small thing you can do differently to make your mornings start on a positive note.
Here are few suggestions to start with:
1.If your mornings are chaotic with people and noise while everyone is trying to get ready, try waking up before everyone just early enough to sneak away for a few minutes for yourself in peace and quiet.
2.If you work such hours that you wake up later, you can still do this at the time when it is best for you.
3.If the circumstances don’t allow you for any “me-time,” try to engage in positive thoughts right after waking up while you’re still in bed, before starting your day.
4.Reflect on what could get in a way of you creating a more peaceful, intentional morning routine, and why it would be difficult to be quiet for a bit and tune out all the noise.