Don’t borrow time from the present moment to create suffering for yourself.
We dwell in the past, regret our ‘bad’ choices, replay painful events, or escape into the future. Each time we think about past we are taking the time from the present moment and we are forcing ourselves re-live it and feel the pain of it. A big part of healing is being able to live more fully in the moment, rather than from the memories of the past. Reflection questions:
This completes my 37 reflections for my 37th birthday. 26. Be discerning about who you take advice from and who’s opinion you allow to take space in your mind. 27. Your future self is the best person to check in with before making a decision because that’s the person that’ll be most affected by your decision. 28. Everything is temporary. 29. You never have to “work on yourself.” It’s about whether you’re thriving or not. If you’re not thriving, what better things you have to do then to keep finding things to inspire you and will bring you to the point of thriving. 30. The point of life is not to be happy. If you’re searching for happiness or expect to be happy all the time, you will be disappointed instead. Happiness is a byproduct of engaging with life in a meaningful way, not a prerequisite for it. 31. Your courage will always be rewarded. Either with a particular result or with an experience. 32. Be intentional with what you practice daily because that’s what you’ll become good at. 33. Feeling any feelings is not a problem. The problem is resisting the feelings. 34. Starve your doubts, feed your desires. 35. Overflow your cup and give others from your saucer. 36. You will never feel ready to make a big move or do the uncomfortable thing, so do it while you’re inspired. 37. Things you’re trying to hide from others are the things that make you unique and different. . YouMaybe you feel stuck in a cycle of “working on yourself” but never feeling quite content and peaceful. Maybe you’re stuck in a never ending search for that next thing. A better mentor, more knowledge, or a tool that will finally help you shift into a different version of yourself. Although we never stop evolving and changing, there is a difference between intrinsic desire for growth and compulsive self-improvement driven by internal sense of brokenness. Doing personal growth work from a place of overwhelm, fear, shame, self-judgment, and criticism, will not result in self-acceptance or healthy self-esteem, because it is driven by deep emotional wounding. When past wounds aren’t attended to and processed, they’re like a well that can’t be filled. When the core of your identity is wrapped up in self-hatred, “working on yourself” simply won’t work. Here are some ways in which you may get stuck in constant personal development cycle. You:
The way to get started is to start addressing causes of your suffering, not just focus on getting rid of the symptoms. Working with a therapist or a coach one on one is best for this kind of work because it allows you to begin where you are.
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March 2024
AuthorSladja Redner |